The AJBs and Me

GOODBYE TO THIS BLOG HOME

2010-07-27T19:48:00.000-06:00

I've moved my blog to this site. Click on the link and come see me.

LAST SATURDAY

2010-07-22T22:42:00.000-06:00

Before J went to camp, we spent a day as a family playing (hiking, floating and fishing). It was a really fantastic family fun day! Since my one handed typing is very slow, I'll just let the photos tell the story.

It was a very good day!

BROKEN!

2010-07-20T20:57:00.000-06:00

This morning, as I was finishing up a bike ride before work, I skidded out as I transitioned from the pavement to the gravel driveway, and I went down hard.

These things do happen in slow motion - I think I had 100 full sentence thoughts as I was falling down. And at one point I actually thought I might pull the bike out of the slide. (so much for deluding myself to thinking I might have an ounce of humility in mt soul!)

Then, as my chin hit the ground I literally thought "Oh d---! Biking helmets don't protect the face! I'm really gonna be really pretty now."

But when I tried to get up, assessing various limbs and joints as I went, I quickly realized I had a major problem in my left shoulder.

And I realized that Andy was gone early to Helena - he would not be able to help me. I called a friend from church who lives close by, and she helped me out.

After I got it x-rayed, the Dr said its broken.

Right at the top of the head of the humerus. (this is not my x-ray, its one I downloaded from the internet.)

It hurts!

I'll be in sling for close to a month. With physical therapy in about two weeks. And as long as the piece stays in place, no surgery.
J is gone to camp this week, so I've got aouple days to get used to one handed/armed living before full-time mom duties kick in.
Life is nothing if not interesting.

Oh, yeah, I admit I will have to slow down when I get back on the bike.

Typing one-handed is slow, so I'm done here tonight. I hope I've given all those who need to know enough info, without boring those who don't.

HE'S GOT QUITE A SENSE OF HUMOR

2010-07-19T22:39:00.000-06:00

J is away at camp again this week, and we really miss him. One of the things we miss is his sense of humor.

For example, on Saturday we went for a fun family day trip up the Boulder River. He took a tube to play in the river. As he was waiting for his dad to be ready to go tubing he did a little dance walk, and said he was a sumo wrestler wearing a tutu.

I guess you can see what he was talking about.

Yep, we miss his sense of humor. Can't wait for him to be back on Friday!

FRIENDSHIP

2010-07-18T23:28:00.000-06:00

These two are such good friends! On hot days they share the same spot on the hardwood floors.

Being the younger of the two, Sophie is perhaps a shorter napper and very quick to think it is time to play. She's just that way. Usually, Leo doesn't mind. He just lays there and tolerates her antics.

Except when she bites his toes.

Which she almost always does! Then he gives a quick harrumph of a growl, and pulls his toes away.

She gets the message and settles down for a few minutes, only to start the whole thing over again.

They are indeed good friends!

BLESSINGS!

2010-07-16T18:46:00.000-06:00

As I was driving home today I was thinking about how many blessings we have here in our household. So, it might just be time to list a few of them.

A job that provides health insurance, which in turn means Andy can get his hip fixed after years and years of putting it off.

We have the equipment necessary to go fly fishing as a family, and living someplace where we can do that. So, tomorrow we head up to the Boulder River area to hike in the afternoon, and fish in the evening before coming home. I've been looking forward to this all week.

Our boy is very special, and other people tell us that. I know this seems a bit like bragging, but today one of the staff at the camp J goes to three days a week sat down and just praised him and his character. Those are pretty proud mom moments!

I have a husband who has ethics and abilities that make him especially good at his job. We were talking today about how so many attorneys that get involved in some of his cases really are missing an understanding of the implications of their job, and therefore miss the need to be more proactive manner.

We have a great member of our church family and neighbor who wants the hay in our field and is therefore willing to cut, bale, and take it. For Free!

This boy is 10, but he still reaches out to hold my hand when we are on a walk, even when we are walking down town and other people will see. It is so sweet that he's comfortable showing affection towards his momma, and it certainly makes me feel good!

AN EVENING WALK

2010-07-12T23:17:00.000-06:00

I HAD A DATE . . .

2010-07-11T16:07:00.000-06:00

with this wonderful young man.

We went down town and wondered around to various stores. I think his favorite store was the The Chocolate Moose (candy store), followed closely by the new rock store - rocks for $2500 we a bit out of our price range, but cool to look at.

We didn't have much money to spend - just $3.00 at the candy store and them a burger for dinner. You would be amazed how much candy a 10 year old can buy for $3.00! He was careful to get a variety and to get things that were unique.

He confided in me that he can smell through is mouth. He explained that it is a genetic mutation, and he is the start of a new ability in the world - he concluded this because he doesn't know anyone else who can smell through their mouth. But, being the good Christian, Petra student, he was very clear that this is not evolution, just genetic mistake as the result of sin in the world.

Other things about this guy:

He'd like to paint his room with brown chalk board paint - he's inspired by my use of it on the door to our garage.
He's currently singing "Paridise City" by Guns and Roses, which I'm certain he heard on the rock station he and his dad listen to when they are in the truck together.
His smelling mouth does not seem to have an "off" mode this day - word streams have been pouring out since he woke up this morning. I thought girls were supposed to be the talkative ones.
Today when we went to get the car looked at from the hail damage, and the insurance company was giving kids teddy bears, he acted all cool and everything, but he snuggled that bear the whole way home.
He's beginning his second week without cows milk, and I see a big difference - he is much less anxious. Not the response I was expecting, but it is a good thing. We'll try three more weeks of no cow dairy and see what happens when he tries dairy again. My theory is that he just generally feels better, and that is why he is less anxious.

On our date we had burgers at Burger Bob's downtown. We'd never been there, but it was pretty good. For a burger and fried dinner.

Just to change the subject and be totally random, this is what the sunsets have been like here the last week or so.

WHAT A DAY!

2010-07-06T23:25:00.000-06:00

These are not photos from today - as you might guess, they are from Sunday. But I think I'll write about today.

It wasn't a bad day, but it sure left me with a lot of things on my mind. Poor Andy is going to have to process about 6 million of my words tonight because I've got so much to tell him. Its all stuff that is important to me, but none of it is probably all that interesting in the details to those who don't associate with our school and our friends and my family.

Just to give you a bit of a taste, I had:

Two meetings today - one very good one with a board member from our school, the other also very good one with someone I was referred to as a potential mentor, which was either the most encouraging meeting or most discouraging meeting I've had related to my job.
One quick good interaction with someone who wields a great deal of political power in areas that are of great concern to me.
One piece of good, interesting, and somewhat surprising news about a friend;
One teary phone call from my little sister that ended well after she shared her heart about some hurts she had experienced;
An unexpected chance to chat with someone I know, but now know even better; and
Once chance to have a deep conversation with a long time friend who I just don't get to see very often anymore.

All that, plus the typical stuff of dropping J at a friends, working a full day at the school, including printing invitations for the ground breaking, doing Andy's office filing and some "collections" stuff for his office, and running a couple of errands before coming home.

Whew!

What A Day!

HARD WORK AND GOOD FUN

2010-07-04T18:12:00.000-06:00

On Friday we picked this guy up from a very fun week at camp. He definitely enjoyed it, and is glad he gets to go back at the end of July too.

I was so glad to see him that I just took photos of him, even though he wasn't doing anything particularly interesting - waiting for the awards ceremony to start and entertaining himself by looking at the sky.

At the awards ceremony he was awarded the "Woodsman Award" for his camp skills performance. It is the highest honor in camp skills that is available, and he was proud to get it.

We spent Saturday mostly down in Big Sky with family, cutting down some beetle killed trees. It was a lot of work to get four trees down, bucked, split and stacked, but we had a nice crew to do it with.

J brought two axes and showed is younger cousin B how to use them - they cut off a lot of little branches that would have been cut with the chainsaw easier, but they enjoyed it, and it gave them a way to participate and contribute to the days work. those two also helped to run the splitter - a big deal to young boys, and this time a chore that really is helpful! I also loved the fact that the boys got to work with their grandfather.

The adults worked very hard too!

In one of the trees was a magpie nest, with a deceased momma sitting on it. Kind of gross, but really not. The kids (especially my boy) were fascinated by it, and curious to know what killed her (we have no idea).

There was also the opportunity for some fun! J loves to tramp, although we don't have one. He was excited to learn to do a flip, and called me over to photo him!

We are off to enjoy a dinner and fireworks with some friends from church. Happy Fourth of July everyone!

LOTS OF THINGS ON MY MIND

2010-06-30T23:35:00.000-06:00

I don't use my blog as a "journal" really, but today it might seem like that. I just have a lot of thoughts jumping around in my head, and this is as good a place as any to express them. Go ahead and comment, because these are things I want to be in conversation with others about. Some of them are probably not that important to most people, but oh well, they are what I would talk to my friends about.

The photo above is one I took yesterday in an attempt to create an invitation to the groundbreaking for our new school - the project about which my job is primarily focused at this time. I had so much in mind with this photo, and tried several complicated things, but as usual, the simple approach turned out to be the best. Do you find that?

We had a huge hail storm today - broke three windows at the school, and caused major dents to my car. Pretty dramatic! Unfortunately, it also probably destroyed the flowers in my flower/weed garden.

I so wish I had time to get out and tend my garden, but these days I just don't. So, my flowers are all coming up amongst weeds, and my veggies are still surviving in the little containers waiting for a clear patch of ground to go in. A sad situation! But for the veggies, being in the little containers on the porch probably saved them from being killed during the storm today. That, I guess, is a good thing. I wish I could say the same for the little tiny baby apples on the apple tree - I haven't had the heart to go back there and check to see if any of them are still on the tree. I want a good crop of apples this year, and since there was no freeze while the blossoms were out, I had some hope. But golf-ball-sized hail and even some baseball-size hail do not bode well for apples in the fall.

This boy is away at camp this week, and I miss him. I miss his encouraging words to me. I miss his need for me. I miss his funky sense of humor, and his hairbrained ideas. I'm glad he'll be home in just two days.

And, just for the record, I did not get all the things done that I thought I would be able to do because I didn't have to meet his needs. I think I was less than realistic about what projects would get done without him around interrupting and asking for attention. So, I cleaned one closet - not that anyone would notice since most people do not inspect my closets. And I weed-wacked in the yard. But, that is about it. I did not do tons of art. I did not get the guest room cleaned out. I did not clean out the fridge and start healthier eating habits and make-over my bedroom and do all the finishing touches on the bathroom I painted earlier in the month. It just didn't happen. Instead I went to work and I came home, and poor Andy was lucky if I got a decent meal made for him - actually, I did do meals for him all except one night. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to keep working on it.

Having a week of evenings with my man (above) has been pretty special. When J is home our evenings are not filled with adult conversation and doing projects together. I like times when we can just be together doing stuff around the house. And meals where we can eat late and sit and chat about everything from aging parents to politics to work issues. It's been a bit of a treat.

There is so much more on my mind - like:

we're going to eat dairy free for the next month to see if we all feel better.
it is funny when I tell some people that we're going off cow dairy they say something like - oh, and you won't be able to eat eggs. HUH? Eggs aren't dairy, and they don't come from cows but several people have said this to me. I think people are lazy when it comes to thinking through what they say.
we are invited to no less than three 4th of July celebrations, and can probably only go to one. Sad to miss the other two, but feeling honored to be invited!
I went outside this evening at 10 p.m., and there was still an orange glow on the western horizan from the sunset. Amazing how late it stays light here!

KIDS AT TAHOE

2010-06-26T17:24:00.000-06:00

Back to photos of Tahoe - I've still got many more, but won't post all of them! It really was such a wonderful trip and it's hard to beleive it is less than a month since we were there - feels like ages already. We miss our family!

Just so you know, Andy took almost all of these particular photos. He's such a great guy! May need a husband honoring post again here pretty soon!

Goof-Ball!

2010-06-24T23:08:00.000-06:00

He's very social - wants to play with friends every day!

He loves his Papa more than anyone else on earth. It pains him when his Papa comes home late or can't make it to events.

He talks - I hear about boys who don't, but this boy expresses himself. If he doesn't, you can see it causing him challenges as unexpressed feelings build up inside. We have to work to keep those lines of communication open or he might lose his sanity.

He understands points of theology and faith that most people don't get until their are well into adulthood.

He's encouraging to others and very sensitive to their feelings.

He has plans and dreams for himself that are very reasonable. I asked him yesterday what he wanted from himself as he becomes an adult - he answered "Kindness. Helpfulness. I want to make a difference."

He has plans and dreams that are so unrealistic - He is currently planning to make little cones out of photocopy paper and stuff them full of store bought cotton candy and then make a killing selling them to . . . I don't know who. He gets plans like this all the time.

He let me know that he's a "professional" at water balloon fights.

He's asleep on the couch as I type, after a long but very good day.

Wordless Wednesday - a first for me.

2010-06-23T17:54:00.000-06:00

HAPPY SUMMER!

2010-06-21T23:06:00.000-06:00

It is the first day of summer, and the lilacs are behaving appropriately! They are really starting to bloom!

J and his two friends had a job this weekend.

They set up balloons for the Mounted Shooting competition. It was hard work, but they loved the fact that they got paid!

In this competition the riders run a course on horseback and have to shoot balloons with black powder guns while going as fast as they can.

This lady did it in a skirt!

It is fun to watch how they turn the horses to get through the pattern set up in the balloons.

Not being horse people, there was a lot for us to learn by watching. It is impressive what people do on their horses.

Enjoy the beginning of the warm season! We're hoping to get some of that warmth soon.

HE PITCHED WELL!

2010-06-18T08:11:00.000-06:00

Last night J pitched for the first time this season (in the second to the last game). He walked one, struck out two, and one guy got a hit. But he was out of his inning in four batters. At this level, that is a very good outing!

I wasn't there to see it - I didn't know he would have the opportunity, and I had a scheduling conflict. Bummer!

But Andy says he really kept his composure. Especially in light of the fact that during the warm up between innings he was beamed in the head, leaving a huge knot and bruise on his forehead. He still got it together and pitched well.

And, the coaches, players, and other parents were really supportive of J. Andy reports that he was the "most grown up I've ever seen him." That is so good, because sometimes with baseball Andy and J are not on the same page about taking it seriously. (That would be J being a bit too casual about his effort, and Andy feeling like if you are on the team you give it your best effort regardless of circumstances.)

I'm pretty proud of J. Just wish I had been there!

A PEEK AT SUMMER

2010-06-16T08:12:00.000-06:00

One of the biggest excitements about summer for J is the easing of bedtime routines. He thinks he should be allowed to stay up to all hours every night, but that's not what we actually do. And he couldn't really do it either because he falls asleep!

But that is quite okay with Sophie, who loves to have someone to sleep with any time. She just makes herself very comfortable!

Another big summer activity for J is using tools to make a number of toys. Here he is sanding some swords that he drew on plywood and his dad cut out for him.

Summer in Montana is challenging because sometimes we only get a few minutes of sunshine a day. This whole month has been wet. As I'm typing this my outdoor exercise is being postponed because of rain. It keeps everything green, and reduces the risk of fires, but still, it gets tiresome to have so much rain.

But the rainbows are pretty cool! And the grass grows super fast! And it looks absolutely beautiful! So, between rain showers we do our best to get outside if possible.

TAHOE IN BLACK AND WHITE

2010-06-15T08:53:00.000-06:00

These are a few non-people photos I took while we were in Tahoe.

The lake truely is beautiful!

These three photos were taken at Sugar Pine Point State Park, which is also where Andy and I had our "Rehersal Dinner" picnic almost 13 years ago.

Andy and I got an afternoon to ourselves and this is where we went - did a bit of a hike too!

A PROJECT

2010-06-14T08:27:00.000-06:00

I'll interrupt the Tahoe photos to post a project I did over the last few months.

I used a Maya Road canvas album.

And lots and lots of stuff I had on hand.

It was amazing how many techniques worked on canvas. I was able to paint on glue and spread micrco beads (above) and the glue didn't soak through, which had been my fear.

Each page represents something I precieve about myself.

I'm sorry if all these photos aren't nicely centered. Blogger was giving me fits this morning.

Some of the lace above is vintage given to me by my dear friend Tamara - Thank you Tamara!

All of the pages are sprayed with Luminart's Radiant Rains and Glimmering Mists.

I used a lot of flower techniques I learned from Kristii, who is always so generous with sharing information.

So, that is my project.

I keep hoping to have more projects to share, but right now life is so busy that I rarely get into my craft studio. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I'll get there, clean it, and start to work. But I've been hoping that for months.

DO YOU SEE A RESEMBLENCE?

2010-06-12T23:17:00.001-06:00

I do!

The first is Joan Biaz, folk singer, song writer.

The second is my aunt, who probably doesn't carry a tune very well, but can draw and paint up a storm!

I've always thought they resembled each other, and as they age I see it even more.

In the interest of full disclosure, I did some PSE work on my aunt's photo because I figured some professional did on Joan's. But really, all I did was soften some wrinkles.

By the way, Joan is older by about two years.

MORE FISHING PICTURES!

2010-06-12T08:36:00.000-06:00

Fishing was indeed a big part of our vacation. It was fun to watch all the children getting fish. H was pretty excited about her fish! And it tasted good too!

It made for good eating too!

I will have more fishing photos tomorrow - W caught a fish too!

My Tahoe photos are slowly getting processed, and I like being able to share them.

Last night we had a cook-out and camp out with most of the boys from J's class. I don't know how those ten year old boys do it. They were up well past midnight tending the fire and still managed to get up with the sun before 5:30 in the morning. But everybody had fun, and even with six boys, no conflict! We look forward to having more of these events throughout the summer!

This summer is off to a good start. A trip to Tahoe, camp-outs with friends, what more could we ask for?

Well, maybe some summer weather would be nice - we woke up to snow on the ground yesterday morning - hit the panic button about the camp out and had to scramble to get the basement ready for a "camp-in" if necessary. Fortunately, the boys were tough and determined they wanted to be outside in the tent even though it wasn't too warm. Snow was gone by noon, and all proceeded perfectly!

A LITTLE NEWS

My first week of working while J is out of school went well. He did have to go to work with me a couple of days, but he also had some opportunities to play with friends while I worked, so I don't feel bad. We have just one more week of piecing it all together before J's camps start, and then until the end of July he shouldn't have to go to work with me very often, if at all.

The school building project is really taking off! We might even be moving dirt on the property by late July, which will help with the hope/plan to occupy the building for the 2011/2012 school year.

I'm almost done with painting the bathroom - just some touch up on the walls, and the cabinets need another coat. I'm pretty happy with it, but I wish I was a neater painter. I've got a bit of work to do scrubbing paint off the floor!

I still get a bit worked up about the oil spill business, but I guess I'll spare you my ranting and raving about so many issues related to all of that.

Have a good weekend!

Fishing in Tahoe with Grandpa

2010-06-08T12:25:00.000-06:00

Fishing for Lake Trout is about the only non-fly fishing my guys do. It is a lot of fun for J because it involves catching minows for bait, which means setting a minow trap out the night before. When his cousins were with us later in the week, I think setting and checking the minow trap was as fun as catching a big fish.

Those Lake Trout are way out in the deep part of the lake, so Andy rows out the fishermen to set the minows on the hook and lower them to the dark deep. Then he rows them back to the pier and the wait.

Sometimes they wait quite a long time. But it is the time to sit and chat. For the younger ones, to check the crawdad traps too. The waiting can be close to an hour, with constant visual checks of the tip of the rod to see if there is any action on the minow. I think this is the "relaxing" part of fishing.

And then comes the reward:

Grandpa always lets J win the fishing contests by letting J pull in the largest fish of the day. It seems to be a tradition! Thanks Grandpa!

Tahoe!

2010-06-07T19:36:00.000-06:00

We got to spend the last week or so in Tahoe.

It was a time of great fun, with many opportunities to play.

J just got out of school the day we left home, and after a big year of lots of activities, and a week of "end of school" activities it was great to start the summer with a wonderful vacation.

The water was . . .

approximately 48 degrees.

Needless to say, I did not jump in, although others did. I have similar photos of two other people, which I will post in a few days. It does make me wonder how it is possible that I share so much of the gene pool with individuals who do this.

If you happen to be reading this and living in the Truckee -Tahoe area, you might be wondering why we didn't ask you over for a bar-b-que and fellowship. So sorry about that! This trip was dedicated to some much needed strictly family and extended family time. Our days and nights were absolutely full - wonderful, but full. We never had the cabin to ourselves, but that is not a complaint, because we had some wonderful folks to share our time with. Hopefully next time we can have some time with our friends that we miss so much - when we are there by ourselves or for a more extended trip!

Needless to say, I've got photos to post for the next little while!

This being Monday, I'm thinking I want to set some goals - maybe see if I can't do this every Monday this summer. This week I'm looking to:

finish painting the bathroom upstairs;
get the threshhold piece down between the dinningroom and kitchen;
begin to harden off the veggie plants my friend Rachel gave me;
plan a cook-out/camp-out for J and his male classmates;
exercise four times or more; and
weed a third or so of the garden.

All of this will be done between meeting law office needs and working my job 4-6 hours a day. Busy week, but I need to rise to the occasion.

It didn't kill me. . .

2010-05-25T20:23:00.000-06:00

When I jogged around our field today - one lap. That's a third of a mile, which really isn't much, but I HATE TO RUN! I also walked 5 laps, for a total of 2 miles.

Well, it wasn't that bad. Maybe tomorrow, if I get home in time, I'll try twice around without stopping. And walk 8 laps (3 miles walking is my usual!)

New Neighbor

2010-05-23T22:22:00.000-06:00

Just thought you might want to meet her. She's about a week old, and very fun to visit on a short walk from our home.

Too Long

2010-05-23T10:39:00.000-06:00

It takes a long time for me to process photos.

Then it takes a long time for my internet to upload them. But at last I have photos from Mother's Day in Yellowstone. Including this one below of one of the two grizzly bears we saw.

We also saw moose, elk, bison, many birds, everything except a wolf. Sorry my Grizzly photo is not the best - I don't have a super huge lens, and I stayed a safe 200 yards away. So this photo is cropped in real close, and lost much of it's resolution. But, you can make out that it is a big brown bear.

And in keeping with my previous post, we did do a couple of mother and son photos. This is one of them. It was lots of fun!

Comments on Life

2010-05-11T14:23:00.000-06:00

No photos today - haven't had time to process any from Sunday yet. But, I do have a few things on my mind that I would like to comment on.

How about the new Supreme Court Justice nominee? I'm sure I don't agree with her on many many things, but I suspect she'll be approved in the long run. But, here are a couple of things that have come to my attention about the court in general.

First, there will not be a protestant on the court - only people of Jewish and Catholic backgrounds. This lack of diversity on faith issues concerns me. (Just to be clear, I have no problem with Jews or Catholics being on the Court, I'm just not sure that only Jews and Catholics reflects an accurate cross-section of our countries view points.)
Second, there is only 1 justice who is not from an Eastern seaboard state. Again, a lack of diversity of experience and view point.
Third, every single one of them went to either Harvard or Yale law schools. That is stunning and provides a very narrow view of our country, in my humble opinion.

What do you wear in May when the temps are in the 40s and the wind makes it worse? Turtlenecks and wool sweaters don't quite work as fashionable, but they sure would be the most comfortable. I'm enough of a fashion geek as it is, but trying to be comfortable in this kind of spring weather while still looking professional borders on impossible.

Also on my mind, when are they going to get that oil well to stop leaking? No answers, just bothered by the event.

And I'm thinking a lot about parenting these days. It's hard. Enough said.

Finally, big fat cat still attacks cute cuddle little tiny cat. And if that weren't enough, now BFC pees in various places around the house to "mark her territory." BFC is running out of opportunities to continue to be my cat. I've called the vet, and if some sort of anti-anxiety meds don't work, then BFC may have to go live in a hole in the ground next to all the other dead animals in our back field.

Back with photos in a couple of days (I hope!).

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T08:37:00.001-06:00

I'm sharing photos from 18 months ago. Back when my hair was long.

We took these photos in response to the death of Aleida, an on line friend who had been a big advocate of mom's being in the photos. Little did she know that just after making a plea for that and putting her money where her mouth was, she would be killed in a terrible car accident.

Clearly, I have fallen down on the job of being in the photos with J, because these are the most recent ones I could find besides bad attempts at Christmas photos.

We are off to Yellowstone National Park today to take photos, and I will have to get some of me and J.

Hope you have a great Mother's Day celebration!

A Morning Walk

2010-04-25T21:11:00.000-06:00

It is the end of April and the signs of spring are here.

On my walk before church this morning I noticed the splashes of green grass along the edge of the road, and there is a green tint forming in the near hills.

Our house looks pretty good! But it is our goal to begin fixing it up this summer by getting the paint off the logs and putting some siding on the non-log surfaces. I imagine it looking really great! More natural in the landscape. Can't wait to see how it will look.

This red barn is about a mile from our house, and I love it. It is tucked in behind many bushes and wild trees, so I can only get a photo from this angle.

The openness of this barn, with the green grasses feels so fresh and warm. Too bad it was just barely over 32 degrees when I got home from my walk.

We spent part of the afternoon at the library today - sort of becoming a habit with us to go there every other week after church. Then, we spent a couple of hours splitting wood that we cut last fall. A big family project it was!

Random Facts

2010-04-21T15:24:00.000-06:00

I'll illustrate my random facts with a few random photos of two little girls who were willing to be my photography victims last weekend.

Random fact 1: It appears that photos I process feeling like they look great are posting here looking like they have way too much blue undertone. Very frustrating, and something I'm going to have to fix soon!

Random fact 2: Mangos are difficult to eat politely - I love them and take them to work often, but I have to hide from students and coworkers when I eat them, because they are so messy and ungraceful in the eating.

Random fact 3: Tana the cat (the old fat witch who I've refered to as terrorizing the cute sweet kitten) is spending her first day ever outside today. She'll get to come into the house at night and all, but she has developed some rather nasty habits (like peeing all over papers left on desks, and other yucky stuff) so she is not allowed to stay in while we are gone. Plus, she's just mean to Sophie, so Andy decided she should stay out.

Random fact 4: When I took the photo below I did not notice the ashes spread on my niece's forehead. I now realize it probably comes from the fact that she and J were digging around for bones in the burn barrel where J creamated a dead pigeon a week before.

Random fact 5: J and two of his friends shot a pigeon last week with their bows and arrows - as parents, we have mixed feelings about this. The pigeons are a nuisance and a mess in the barn, and we'd like them to be gone, but as a general matter, we are not in favor of hunting and killing anything that you don't plan to eat. But, this being Montana, killing pigeons in the barn gophers in the field, and coyotes anywhere you see them is culturally acceptable.

Random fact 6: Our school has a close to 100% volunteer rate from parents. Yes, out of 54 households represented, 52 of them have done some sort of volunteer service to our school this academic year - and the year is not over, so the remaining two households still has 6 weeks to step up and do something. Amazing, in a culture where the rule is usually that 20% of the people are doing 80% of the work. I think it is a testiment to our school!

Random fact 7: If you make a mistake and use baking soda instead of baking powder in the almond cookie recipe the cookies will puff up better, but taste not so good. I know, because sitting on the counter is an entire batch of this inadvertent experiment. Looks like I'll be making a better batch tonight with the powder instead of the soda.

Random fact 8: Ten year old boys want to know the darnedest things when they get a few minutes of driving time with their mom. Questions like: Why isn't there air in space? If God loves _________ so much, why doesn't he just make them believe in him so they can go to heaven? What's for dinner? Can we go to Papa's office instead of going home? Why does Papa have to work?

Random fact 9: Ten year old boys often follow the answers to their questions with statements that begin with "I don't think so because . . ." prompting mom's to feel a bit frustrated at having put a great deal of effort into providing an accurate answer to the questions in the first place only to be told they are wrong.

Random fact 10: After the 20 minute drive home from school my brain is usually fried! If you don't understand this, you try answering the questions of Random fact 8, dealing with the response of Random Fact 9, and driving a hilly sometimes curvy road all at the same time, and see whether your brain is mush or not.

Hope that was random enough for you! Have a great Wednesday!

He gave me five minutes . . .

2010-04-18T20:55:00.000-06:00

to take a few photos. That's about his limit these days with the whole "Mom with a camera" experience.

I processed this in a bright room and now in the evening what I see is a bit unexpected. Is his skin a bit blue? His eyes are sure blue - just like in real life!

Art and Beauty All Around

2010-04-16T20:18:00.000-06:00

The other day I had some errands to do for work, and I grabbed my camera and gave myself the assignment of taking pictures of beauty and art all along my way.

These photos are the rsult of that day.

I love these silk flowers from Sola - a relatively new coffee house in our town. They remind me of spring, and this day there was lots of new snow, so it didn't feel like spring - I needed reminding!

You probably notice that most of these pieces are primarily metal. I guess that is Montana art for you.

I hope you enjoyed this mini art tour of Bozeman.

Ridiculous . . .

2010-04-12T22:17:00.000-06:00

absolutely ridiculous! It looked like these photos twice last week, when I took these photos out the windshield.

And it's supposed to look like this again tomorrow.

Not very spring-like if you ask me.

We're still here!

2010-04-11T17:20:00.000-06:00

This boy . . .

keeps his parents on their toes - and since neither of his parents are particularly accomplished at ballet, it is a struggle to stay up there.

has an opinion about everything, and he's more than happy to voice it - even under his breath if necessary.

says the deepest and most meaningful things to warm a mom's heart - about faith, about God, about the way to treat your friends.

struggles with being responsible - after 5 years of school you'd think he could remember to put his name on his papers so he can get credit for his work.

still has the best giggle/laugh in the whole world.

is so happy that even when given a chore as a consequence for some mis-behavior he begins to sing within 60 seconds of beginning the task - making those parents, who are trying to balance up there on their toes, super frustrated because the learning opportunity from an unpleasant task appears to be gone right out the window. But perhaps it is a good thing to be so happy that even in the throws of punishment you can sing - usually a worship song or something he made up on his own.

understands the importance of faith and mourns for those who don't know Jesus.

still wants to be cuddled every night at bed time.

This man . . .

is training for a triathalon - even on a bad hip.

is more excited about the start of little league than his boy.

stands up for the down-trodden and wins big cases a lot lately.

mops my floors.

recently - about five minutes ago - exploded in a loud "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" when he discovered his boy (yes, that one above) using the toilet brush to scrub the bathroom sink, thus showing quite a bit of retraint for not yelling instead "What the *%&^$#@ are you doing?" And if you knew this man's idiocsyncrasies about bathroom germs, you would understand the true nature of the restraint demonstrated!

(By the way, that boy up above . . . he just re-cleaned the bathroom sink - without the toilet brush this time!)

would eat my pesto and pasta five nights a week for dinner, and seven days a week for lunch if I made it that often.

The mother of this boy . . . (sorry, no recent photo available)

loves to watch him sleep.

continues to struggle with time management issues now that she works full time.

wishes she had more time for photography.

has more ideas floating in her head than will ever come to fruition, but they float there all the same - sometimes accounting for those issues with time management.

can't wait for warmer weather - usually I'm fine with long winters, but this year I'm anxious to throw off the turtle-neck shirts and put on the short sleves.

loves having an afternoon at home, but doesn't get enough of them.

gets to wake up every day to watch the birds flying around the yard - this morning it was Sand Hill Cranes - now that we all moved our bedrooms back upstairs for the spring and summer.

Am I griping?

2010-03-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

Probably.

Not that I want to be a griper, because I don't. But I think I was spoiled for so long, didn't realize it, and now miss the greatness that I had. So, I'm going to gripe a bit.

And let me be clear, what I am about to say does not represent regret for what is happening in my life. It is just an observation that I miss what once was.

Yes, I'm talking about the opporunity I had for over 10 years to stay home and not work. My focus was here:

And here:

And I loved that!

It kept my plate full!

It gave me the opportunity to do it right. But I was not always successful. I didn't always keep the house clean and serve perfect meals and make family life peaceful and ideal and exciting in a fun way.

But I always had the time to fix my failures. I always had the opportunity to try again.

Now, with a full time job (that I do enjoy by the way), I don't have the opportunity for "do overs" around the house, with the meals, or folding laundry, or creating relaxation opportunities at home.

I need "do overs!" Because I mess up a lot. I don't get the meal planning done, or if I planned, I don't execute well. I clean the house, but then fail to maintain that status of clean more than a few hours - often meaning that poor Andy doesn't get to notice the clean I had achieved.

Frustration sets in because clean is important to Andy's peace of mind, and Andy's peace of mind is important to me. But if he doesn't see the clean, he doesn't get the peace of mind, and I feel like my efforts were completely wasted.

Oh yeah, I'm griping.

Not that I expect a change of circumstances. In fact, I'm not sure I really want a change in circumstances. My job is a good one. It is with a worthy ministry. It is enjoyable. And most importantly, the income and insurance are providing my husband with a resource that is needed at this time.

I am doing what my husband thinks is best. I am submitting to his authority. And I am doing so without resentment. I don't question his decision in this area. I agree that this is the best solution we've had to a challenge that was dragging on and on for us. I know this is right.

So, what am I going to do about this griping?

Pray.

That's what I'm going to do about it.

So what am I praying for?

A heart that submits to God's plan.

A heart that accepts these circumstances.

A heart that sees the blessings in what life looks like now.

A heart that does not make an idol out of what once was.

A heart that seeks to glorify God in these circumstances.

A heart that sees that God is glorified in these circumstances

Have a good day!

Spring Light

2010-03-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

I can tell spring is almost here because of the afternoon light - it is changed:

And a Project:

Early spring photos

2010-03-11T22:11:00.001-07:00

I went for a walk last weekend.

I took my camera with me.

This photos makes me ask: How did that happen?

This one show the most spring of the morning - melting snow!

Our neighbor died a couple of years ago, and his fence is getting really run down now that the property is unoccupied. I wish someone would buy the property and maintain it.

The blue of the skies here is amazing! The cottonwoods against the blue field is beautiful - at least to me it is.

This is my driveway. There is a dog leg turn to the left up near the barn, that goes to through the gate and to the house. I realized that we really have a pretty cool driveway - well, really, it's not ours, it's an easement right we have over our neighbor's road. How complicated some of these things can get. Still, when I turn up this driveway I know I'm home.

Oh No! OOOOooo! OOOOooo! Bad Words Everywhere!

2010-03-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

J's school is taking up Ultimate - the disc game. The 6th - 12th grades are playing competetively. They will play against other schools around the state. And the younger kids like J are watching closely and being inspired. So, this weekend we purchased a new disc. Very fun!

I learned something new. My handsome husband played Ultimate in college. I'm not surprised, but I just didn't know that.

So, funny story: Yesterday my boy spilled something at the office and I heard the following: "Oh No! OOOOooo! OOOOooo! Bad words everywhere!"

Made me laugh! He doesn't swear, which I am so glad of. But that phrase "Bad words everywhere" cracks me up! So cute! And frankly, I think I can live with that as an outburst from him.

(Are you noticing my handsome husband's great Ultimate skills, even with a hip that is in need of replacing? I'm noticing!)

Speaking of those funny little kid things, I have to tell you about J and belly dancing!

(Oh, yes, that is my boy catching that disc - so casual about it, isn't he!)

This guy heard that term on T.V. tonight - I think someone on the Biggest Loser said something about wanting to be able to belly dance. J said "Ha! That's easy!" Then he threw himself on the floor, belly down, and riggled around like a fish out of water. That, my dear blog readers, is his idea of what it is to belly dance. Isn't the innocence of youth so wonderful!

I laughed.

A quick prayer request: My handsome husband is tired. Just happens when you work as hard as he does and deal with chronic pain as he does. But he needs some rest. Could you pray for that opportunity to come to him - please.

Have a great rest of the week!

I'm Dreaming of . . .

2010-03-05T23:43:00.000-07:00

So many things I'm dreaming of these days. Seems like the list could be endless, but I'm going to share at least a portion of it. Here it goes:

A clean house. Yep, if you saw my post on excellence a few posts ago, you might remember that getting my house clean was high on my list of being required to achieve excellence in my life. And this is the weekend set aside for cleaning. I started when I got home from work tonight and now there is actually one completely spotless room in my house - the bathroom. Even washed the log walls! Now, just two more bathrooms, six bedrooms, two livingrooms, one kitchen, one scrapbooking/craft room, two stairwells, a dinning room and two hallways to go.
Doing more scrapbooking and other crafts. The scrapbook store in town closed a year ago this month, and a new one, with the same owner plus two more partners is opening up later this month. So hopefully I'll have my life in order so that I can do more of this:

I dream of teaching scrapbooking again because I miss it! I've been asked to put together some class proposals - and not just pages, but projects. It will take hours to clean my room well enough to make good use of it, so I doubt I'll get anything done this weekend. But, it is coming!
I dream of completed taxes. I was supposed to finish them last weekend, but it didn't happen. I did make substantial progress, but there is more to do. I had to leave the project behind and do law office billing this week, so once the house is clean I will finish that up.
I dream of organization. I'm craving it right now! I need it! My job requires it. My family needs it. It will allow me to go forward with so many other dreams. It will create an environment of productivity and the opportunity for fun!
I dream of spring! It always happens this time of year. With the month of March will come the Sandhill Cranes, melting snow, thunder storms, snow flurries, green grass by the end of the month, light mornings and enough light in the evenings to walk after work, and lots and lots and lots of mud. Ah, spring!
I dream of eating clean. I love to eat clean, but it requires me to be organized (see dream above) and so I haven't done as well at it as I would like. But I am looking forward to cooking well and eating well as I have less clutter around me and the time to take a deep breath.
I dream of being caught up on finances. And with my new job it is in our grasp. It will take a few months and good discipline and planning, but the opportunity to do this right is here. My courageous and hard working husband is making it work at his office without much of my support, and I am helping to relieve some of the money burdens with my job. That leaves room for him to implement his financial plans and for us to accomplish our goals of being out of debt in the foreseeable future. Wow! It's huge! It's hopeful! It's encouraging! It's a light at the end of a tunnel that just didn't seem to ever end. Even just four months ago it seemed the tunnel would go on for at least a decade or more, but now it will be under two years. Praise God!
And right now, I dream of going to bed. Of putting my head on my pillow. Of snuggling into the curve of my husband's warm body. Of being warm and peaceful and well rested!

With that, I say good night and sweet dreams to all!

March 1 . . . And the Prayers are flying!

2010-03-01T22:43:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to me that it is already March. And yet is seems like such a long time in coming. The winter has been long. I'm looking forward to the return of Sandhill Cranes and other signs of spring!

This year we never got the mid-January to early February snow melt - haven't seen the brown-grey grasses of the field since October. Well, except where Andy plowed a running path for himself.

Right now the snow still covers everything, but today when I got home the driveway was under about 3-4 inches of water in many places - that snow is melting fast! This is not so good for the shoes when I get out of the car to open the gate.

Heck, even Leo won't leave the driveway pad - he just sits on the concrete and waits for me to get to him. He doesn't want to sink into the mud. That crazy dog can be pretty smart sometimes. But, then again, you may have read some of my stories about him in the past, so you might not believe any claims that he is smart.

That boy with the white hood and the huge smile is mine. I love him so. Who can resist that beautiful smile and those eyes of joy?

He's in pretty big trouble right now. Responsibilty. Motivation. Working up to his potential. Sassy mouth. Poor judgement. All of these are issues. I don't know, is this normal for a 10 year old?

In context, he also has wonderful characteristics of faith, kindness, lovingness, humor, caring for others, giving nature, being a great friend, thoughtful, and able to use his brain to assess and understand situations if he wants to.

With all that in his favor, why does he struggle so? Why does he take his parents to the edge of insanity with his lack of effort to do well?

We ask ourselves questions like "Are we just bad parents?" "What did we miss along the way so that he didn't learn to care about doing well in school and chores?" Its becoming a bit of an identy crisis for me. How did I become the mother of a lazy child?

Sometimes I try to console myself with the dream (delusion really) that because we are dealing with these issues now at 10 years old, and if we do it well, we will avoid much of the intensity of the teenage years. Other times I have the nightmare that this is only the beginning. And that brings me to the brink of tears. Literally!
What it needs to do is bring me to my knees.

I pray for him to come to his senses.
I pray for me to be able to avoid yelling.
I pray for him to have a desire for excellence for excellence sake.
I pray for him to mature into the ability to focus - soon!
I pray for grace for my mistakes.
I pray that the slips in my words won't have a lasting impact on him.
I pray to find what it is that motivates this child.
I pray for a sense of humor about this whole situation.
I pray for wisdom to make decisions that will provide him the guidence he needs.
I pray to break him of his rebellious and lazy habits without crushing his beautiful spirit.
I pray for endurance in this battle of wills.
I pray that all of my boy's issues will be revealed so his father and I can be purposeful andproactive parents to addresses the issues.
I pray that we will have the strength and fortitude to stand up and be counted as parents on these issues.
I thank God that Andy and I are on the same page (for the most part) regarding the need to address these issues.
I thank God that I have this beautiful child, but I confess I don't feel up to the challenge some days.
So, I pray not to be overwhelmed.
I pray not to give up!
I pray to be rejuvinated daily so I can be the parent God has called me to be.

And, I understand at this moment how God's decision to give us infertility issues so that we only have one child was perhaps one of the wisest moves. I would love more children, but it is clear, I have my hands full with just one. God knew what he was doing!

In Pursuit of Excellence

2010-02-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

I'm inspired to excellence these days.

Inspired by excellence I see in one of my co-workers.
Inspired by the beauty that excellence creates.
Inspired by the need to reflect excellence as a way of mirroring God's love and purity.
Inspired by the difference that increasing the excellence in the quality of food I eat makes in my energy level - proving that excellence had rewards!
Inspired by excellent writing in books like "To Kill a Mocking Bird" and "The Scarlet Letter."
Inspired by my own general lack of excellence and the consequences that leads to - like being out of control in so many ways.

But I have a long way to go to achieve excellence.

I want it in all areas of my life! Why?

Because it glorifies God.
Because it is emotionally rewarding to know I did well.
Because it allows me to achieve my goals.
Because even if I don't get all the things I want having worked at the level of excellence means there is no room for regret.

What do I need to do to attain excellence? That's a good question. Probably pray with out ceasing for one. Because without prayer I'm not really able to much of anything well - oh, I can pretend, but really, I can't actually do it well.

Next, I need to get organized. It is really hard to be excellent at anything when you are surrounded by chaos. And right now, I'm surrounded by chaos of my own making - I just cannot seem to keep my house clean. It's been a challenge always, but especially the past six or seven months since I got sick, figured out what the issue was, began to recover, and then just never got caught up before starting my job in January.

Nevertheless, I must get organized now! Starting with getting taxes done, then office billing, and then, by March 7th, I want my house clean! I mean even the basement rooms that company will never see need to be clean! All of it. Clutter removed, grime cleaned, closets organized, windows all spiffy.

Then, the challenge will be to keep it all clean. So, I'll need some systems of excellence - schedules, help from my two guys, restrictions on number of activities so things don't get out of hand again.

And once I get the house clean and organized, what am I going to pursue next? Excellence of course.

Excellence in my spiritual life, including more time in the Word, some time to serve others, and excellence in my role as wife and mother. I want to be joyful as I meet my family's needs. I want to praise God for the opportunities I have to be with my family!
Excellence in photography - like start taking more photos, engaging in photo challenges on web sites, save my money for classes locally.

Excellence in art - from scrapbooking to mixed media to fabrics! I want to be better. I want to finish projects. I want to make things that I can enjoy!
Continued excellence in my job - it is one of the places where I feel like I'm attaining some excellence.

Valentine's Day Crafting

2010-02-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

I left my crafting to the last minute this year - thanks in large part to an extreme lower GI virus that pretty much took me out of all activities for several days.

Anyway, I was well enough yesterday to do a little crafting. I've wanted to work on old distressed pieces of wood for awhile, so I did.

This one was for J - at his request after he saw what I made for his dad:

And this one is for my love:

That paper is the backdrop I've used for spraying Luminart's sprays on projects for the last few months. I just tore a piece off of it and modge podged it onto the face of a piece of wood from the chicken coop.

The rusty nails are also fromthe chicken coop area.

These were inspired by something I saw last month on Ruth Rae's blog.

Off to a busy week again!

2010-01-31T22:33:00.000-07:00

Last week, on the way to church I noticed how this barn looked so peaceful in the fog and snow. I didn't have my camera with me, but I went back that afternoon, hoping to catch that special lighting of evening. It wasn't the same as I had seen in the morning. But in the morning there wasn't a resident waiting to get in either. Pretty cool!

Basketball season is half way done at this point. J is loving it. He plays defense very well - pretty much shutting down anyone he is guarding. His team had a rough start to the season, but achieved their first win yesterday - prior to that they lost by two points in over time, and then were competely blown out.

J keeps up and is really in the game all the way. Durning that tied game he played all four quarters - then came home, ate everything he could find and then laid on the couch in pure exhaustion!

I'm still adjusting to the whole being a working mom thing. Love my job, but often frustated by how little time I have at home. Can't have it both ways, so I'll just have to adjust my expectations!

Sacrifice

2010-01-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

We went downtown for the funeral procession of Cpl. Nicholas K. Uzenski, a 21-year-old Marine killed in Afghanistan and burried here in Bozeman today. J was off of school for the day, so we thought it would be a good experience for him and it would show the family support from the community.

There was an almost 2 hour wait for the procession, because the service went longer than expected. And the wind was whipping making us very cold.

I think with wind chill it was probably close to 0 degrees - seriously. But we toughed it out and waited.

Then when the procession came it was so quiet from the people along the street, but the wind was making a haunting low moaning sound.

It was quite approriate!

It broke my heart to see his mother, looking out the window of her car, and when she saw my son their on the corner, the only child to be scene, and standing out from the crowd, waiving his little tiny flag. Her black gloved hand came up and pressed on the window, as if her wave was suddenly stopped and she was reaching out to touch. I just cried.

I can't imagine her pain. The sacrifice she has made for all of us.

I'm glad we were there.

Took me long enough!

2010-01-21T21:23:00.001-07:00

At long last, here are two layouts I did earlier this month. Funny thing happened when I sat down to scrapbook after the new year began - suddenly I hardly used any embellishments. HUH???? So not my usual style. But I feel like they are complete, so I'm just going with it.

This whole working mom life is crazy busy! I can't believe how fast the weekends fly by, and the evenings are done before I have time to take a breath. I like my job, but I miss my home time. All part of the adjustment. I knew things had changed when I found myself scheduling my Saturday hour by hour - when to clean the house, when to make dinner, when to go for a walk, and when to SCRAPBOOK!

Wind skiing?

2010-01-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

I guess this would be called Wind Skiing. Or Para-skiing. It sure looks like fun. J and I seem them doing this as we are driving home most afternoons.

Work is going well. Today I went to a meeting with the City of Bozeman planners regarding so prelimnary issues on our new school building. That was a bit of the familiar from my past career as an enviornmental attorney - land use and environmental law have some cross-over issues. It was fun and stimiulating to go, although my main interest for my job is to know about timing on getting permits approved and unexpected costs, because those issues dictate how much and by when I need to raise money.

Adjusting to working is going pretty well. This week I've stuck to my schedule of what I want to be the "normal" day. There will be times when this cannot work, but so far this week, so good. I get home with time to do step aerobics and make dinner while J does homework. Then we have the rest of the evening to enjoy and relax. Of course there are little issues like laundry and doing the dishes that take up some of that relaxing time, but I'll get used to it.

The hardest part of the adjustment is definately the early rising in the morning. I used to be able to get J off to school before I had to shower, and often I stayed in sweats or p.j.s until noon. Not any more! I have to be up, showered, and dressed in a skirt or dress every morning. Saturdays sleeping in until 9 a.m. is going to be a real luxury!

Hope to have more tomorrow. I've got two layouts I did over a week ago to photograph and share. Maybe I'll get that done after school tomorrow.

Oh yeah, and my heart goes out to all those hurting and frightened people in Haitti!

A Difference In Transitions

2010-01-04T21:56:00.004-07:00

I remember almost twelve years ago when I quit my full time job to stay home and do infertility treatments I really had a hard time adjusting. I quit on July 10th, and all the way through the following January I struggled with what to do with all this time I had on my hands.

Of course, it didn't help that just after I quit we moved to a community where I knew nobody by my in-laws, and even they were traveling about half the time. And my husband had a ninety minute commute each way, so was gone before I got up in the morning, and back after dark! It was the first time I'd been without a job since I was about 15 years old.

It was a struggle to fill my days and find something that made me feel like I was valuable. I wasn't depressed, but I did have to learn to relax. It was a gift my husband gave me.

Of course, I had left a job as a litigation attorney where days were full and things moved at a quick pace. I had felt important and successful. So daily walks in local parks, reading magazines, and waiting for my husband to get home was really a big change.

But eventually I adjusted. During that time I focused more on my photography than ever before. I took my first quilting class, which really is part of what lead to me becoming a scrapbooker (that's another story). I started lunching with some of the older women in my life from time to time and learned to sit at their feet and absorb their wisdom. It was good for me!

Now, the reverse transition is proving to be a bit easier - at least if the first day is any indication.

I was really engaged in what I was doing today. The time went by nicely, and at the end of the day I felt like I had accomplished something. Okay, well go back to the post about this year's word: PROGRESS, because that is what I accomplished. Nothing is complete yet, but I made progress. Just some baby steps in many ways, but emotionally, it was huge!

I did a whole day at work. I was a self-starter! I learned a few new skills (like using the wireless printing system they've got going there at the school). And I was with people I really enjoyed.

What a gift from God this new job is!

The Reason I quit the snowball fight

2010-01-03T22:25:00.003-07:00

It is simple really.

Just look:

Yeah, admit it, most of you would have quit too.

Tomorrow is the big day of starting the new job. I'm nervous and excited and already tired just thinking of life back at work full time.

My house is not as clean as I would like it to be for tomorrow.

I didn't get the billing finished because the printer ran out of ink, and I don't keep $90 cartridges right on hand.

I didn't get every last thread of laundry washed and folded as I hoped. But that never lasts long anyways

I didn't make a weeks worth of menu plans so that meals would be no brainers this week.

Oh well. I'm going to start this new adventure anyway.

Pray for me, okay?!

A great day!

2010-01-03T14:55:00.003-07:00

At church this morning was a young man that has been Andy's client since he was a teenager. He's an orphan, so the fact that he ended up in trouble isn't surprising. None of his trouble is that "BIG" but he just constantly gets into it. So, Andy sent him to the Christian recovery group that our church hosts. He went, and got invited to church. Brought his girlfriend with him.

Now, we've had lots of clients come to our church - some stay and become part of the body, other's move on. We've had clients who've been part of the church longer than us, who come to Andy for legal help because he goes to that church.

But this one today was special. Andy's had him as a client so long, in some ways, Andy is a parental figure to him. Certainly he's watched him grow up from a teenager to a young adult. It suddenly dawned on me in service today, that for Andy, this was a big deal. After all those years of helping the young man through the justice system, Andy's a bit attached. (This is a kid we have spent some time and resources on out of the goodness of our hearts because nobody else would, and he has needs).

So, what a celebration at church today to see him there. But is was a quiet celebration between us, because we wouldn't go around pointing him out and saying "Oh, that is one of Andy's clients." That would violate confidentiality, and let everybody know that the kid has been in trouble.

Fortunately, we go to a very friendly church, and people who don't have the slightest idea that he's Andy's client were greeting him and his girl, being super friendly to them! I'm so hopeful that they will come back. I kept looking over at them, and they were smiling, so hopefully that is a good indication.

They were at another church, but were feeling quite judged. Let's face it, they have a lot of "issues" to overcome, like all of us do. It's just that their issues are a bit more visible than most people's issues! If they can come and be gracefully discipled towards a life with Jesus, it will be the accomplishment of the true mission of the church!

It is a story like this that makes it so worth taking the low paying public defender cases and putting our entire heart and soul into them. The rewards can be eternal!

God is good!

Family Outing

2010-01-02T20:02:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I posted that one of the things I wanted for this coming year is more family outings.

Well, got right on that goal, as we went on a hike up Cottonwood Canyon as a family today. Really enjoyed it! Including the snowball fight between Andy and J.

That's what I call PROGRESS! Which is important, because my theme word for this year is PROGRESS.

One little Word is a concept introduced to me by Ali Edwards, an accomplished scrapbooker who really had a great value for journaling with scrapbooking. She has encouraged people to pick a theme word each year. I think this is the first year I've actually done it.

So, I'm hoping to make progress on all the goals I posted yesterday this year, because some of those goals are not accomplishable in just one year.

Goals, Not Resolutions

2010-01-01T15:21:00.002-07:00

I'm afraid to make resolutions! They seem like such a set up for failure.

At the same time, I don't want to let this opportunity of a clean slate just pass me by - because you know it will be mucked up soon! So, I'm setting some goals. After all, without goals, how will I know where I'm going, and if I've arrived?

I'm using Allison LaMarr's "Eight Lanes of Living" to help me put some structure to this. (Click that link to read the intro to these concepts. It is really good! And her posts that follow explain each and every one of them in detail.)

Spiritual Life:

I need to have a more organized prayer life - perhaps make myself a journal, and set aside some time each day. I know I am capable of making a great artsy journal, and that might be a fun project for this weekend - if I get all my other stuff done. I'm not all that efficient in the morning, and getting up earlier is more a problem than a solution for me, so it may be that I need to set aside time in the evening to do this.

I also need to find a good devotional for me. I love our weekly Bible Study, but really, I need something daily. I'm interested in studying the book of Daniel, but I don't have any materials. So, I'll have to seek something out and get a move on with that.

Family Life:

I feel pretty good about our family life in general, but there is room for improvement in everything. So, relative to J, I'd like to be better at supporting him through school challenges - like better at being consistent in helping him to practice his writing. I'd also like to be better at being consistent in expecting him to clean up after himself. Those are both pretty big goals, so for now, I'll leave him alone.

Relative to Andy, I'd love to have more one on one time with him. Maybe a monthly date night, to start with. Also, I need to return to asking him every morning what he needs from me that day.

For all of us together, I'd like to have at least a day a month where we do some adventure together just for fun. That's not always easy, but these are goals, not resolutions, right!?!

Professional Life:

This is a big area this year as I start my new job on Monday. So, first I want to be a sponge and absorb information about my new area of work. I think I'll try for one training event a month - whether that is attending a webinar (already set up for one later this month) or reading a book or article, I need to keep myself open to many new ideas to accomplish this job.

I also want to keep my Mary Kay business going. That means I need to start checking in with my customers so they know I still love them. I've slacked off in this, but can get better!

And I need to be organized about keeping up with my responsibilities at Andy's office - do time sheets every Friday night and do the filing after work on Mondays! That doesn't seem like much, but if I don't keep it as a priority it will get ignored, and Andy will be unhappy. I want him to be happy!

Personal Development:

Ah, the place I'm tempted to spend all my time. I'm thinking this covers art and photography. I'd love to find a photography class to take. They seem pretty far out of my price range right now, but I'll keep looking. In the mean time, I may look for a group of online people who would like to do a photography group and give constructive criticism and helpful hints to one another. (If you are interested in this, let me know! I'm really serious about this!)

And on the art side, I'd love to do at least four scrapbook pages a month, and one project a month with other medium (fabric, fibers, whatever). That's a pretty big goal, so I may have to keep the projects smaller.

I'd also like to work on my listening skills - be better at listening all the way before I start to formulate my response in my mind. It will help me with all aspects of relationships, I'm certain.

Physical Health:

This is "easy" in that I know exactly what I want to do: EAT CLEAN! I've been doing it for three days now, and I see so much potential! It already has increased my energy levels. (I got more done before noon today than I do most days total, and I wasn't wiped out from it!)

Financial Health:

Ugh, this is a hard topic. But, I want to be focused here because there is so much to do.

First, I want to really be good at paying off our debt, which means not treating my new income as money that is available to us. Instead, apply it to anything and everything that needs to get paid.

Second, I want to be a good saver. Andy and I want to have six months of expenses saved up (won't happen in a year, but something we will work towards) and still be putting money aside for retirement.

It is kind of depressing to think of these, because basically it means we will be just as tight as before, even though we are significantly increasing our income. But, that is only for a couple of years - then we'll be able to have a few extras, although we will always be putting money into savings! And, really, although we will live the same frugal lifestyle, we won't have the stress of being concerned that we can't afford what is necessary!

Social Life:

I think it would be good for me to have at least one outing a month with my women friends - whether that is just dinner together or an evening scrapbooking together.

And I would love for our family to entertain at least one night a month - we need to invite some of those wonderful people we love to spend some time with us in our home! We love to do it, but we allow ourselves to get too overwhelmed to make it happen. So, time to see if we can change that a bit.

Community Involvement:

Whew! Is there really time for this? I think I will focus this at my church, and be sure to keep a servant's heart there. I am stepping down as the Deaconess of Women's Ministry (not enough time with my new job), so I need to find another way to serve. I'd like to teach a Sunday School class or lead a Bible Study, as I've done in the past. Maybe that will be where I can serve.

This is an area I need to look into a bit more.

So, there you have it. A set of goals for the year. I won't have everything all perfect by the end of January. I may not get it all done by next December. But it is something to work towards!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

BRING ON 2010!

A look back. . .

2009-12-31T15:03:00.006-07:00

to see where we were this year. Reflection is always a good thing for me this time of year.

We started the year recovering from Andy's big scare at the hospital - Thank God it turned out to be nothing! That all seems so far away now! And his health has been stable and great - except that arthritic hip, which needs replacement, but I'll touch on that more with tomorrow's looking forward post.J made it through third grade, had lots of fun, matured and grew like crazy and for the most part thrived. He provided so much joy! He loved deeply, lost a cat and gained a kitten.I struggled with fatigue, but learned a lot of humility through that, and resolved the health issues. And got to see God work a miracle there! And I'm feeling more energetic than every, again, more on that in tomorrow's post. I started and stopped studying for the bar exam - God had such better plans for us! I took on new challenges (Mary Kay business most notably! And I changed my look!

The economy was a big issue for everyone this year, and we are not an exception. Being in business for yourself is a challenge in times like these! We had a scare that our Public Defender work would dry up as the State of Montana began to make some cutbacks, but God is good to us, and blessed us with a continuation of that source of income. But the scare put us into a good reflective mode and we realized that we needed to make some changes. So, we've learned to cut back on expenses and be more self sufficient - everything from changing our own oil, to getting groceries for under $100 a week,to relying on firewood for more of our heating, to getting a whole wardrobe for under $25 at the thrift stores. This was great because it means we are coming out of 2009 in better financial shape than we entered. Still have some goals to accomplish, but feeling good about what we did accomplish.

But we still had time to play. We enjoyed the company of friends and family who came to visit.I practice my photography and even got a new camera. So much to learn both with the camera and with the computer after the pictures are downloaded!

It was a painful year in some ways, but it was a good year. God was faithful, and we are doing our best to be faithful to him.

A Blog Lift!

2009-12-29T09:01:00.003-07:00

This morning Stephanie Howell had the theme "I Am" on her blog. I am copying Stephanie Howell, but probably not as interesting as she is.

I am a wife and mom, and even more, but sometimes I forget the even more.
I am middle aged, but I feel like I'm in my 30's.
I am sometimes too smart for my britches - meaning there are times when I am too quick to give advise. But I am always sincere in my desire to be helpful. Hopefully that sincerity makes up for the awkwardness of giving too much advise.
I am an aspiring photographer - in my head I see the kind of photos I want to take, but that is not what I see when I download from my camera - yet. I will get there someday.
I am sitting in the quiet because my boy is spending the night at a friends and my husband is out for his morning run.
I am married to the most wonderful man on the planet - sorry ladies, I know you think it is your husband, but I know in my heart that my Andy has them all beat! He's strong, kind, a spiritual leader in our family and in the community, humble (he wouldn't like it that I'm being so public about his attributes), and very very healthy (we went to the doctor yesterday for a physical, and the doctor literally raved about how healthy he is for a man his age - except that hip that needs replacing).
I am craving opportunities to be more creative, but not putting in the effort to make it happen - maybe tomorrow! If I get my craft room cleaned . . . which leads to:
I am not the worlds greatest housekeeper. Lots of clutter accumulates in my home. My theory is that this is caused by a very fast moving brain that wants to do ten things as once, and my body doesn't have time to clean up as I'm trying to keep up.
I am getting more nervous about my new job which starts on Monday. I do not want to let anybody down and the task I face is quite large. There are a lot of zeros in the number of dollars I need to raise so we can build our new school facility!.
I am allergic to milk (found out three months ago) and really missing cheese.
I am starting a new diet - Eating Clean by Tosca Reno - and pretty excited about it. I have never seen a diet plan that looked so appealing to me.
I'm starting that diet TODAY. I know, it's not the first of the year, the first of the week, the first of the month, my birthday, or any other typical start a diet day. But, today I start. I did the shopping for it yesterday, and we'll see how I do.
So, I am eating oatmeal with nuts, Cinnamon, raisins and black berries for breakfast as I type this. It's blander than I expected, but I think if I mix the black berries in better it will be more tasty.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

He's growing up faster than I like!

2009-12-28T09:07:00.003-07:00

The other night J had a friend over to spend the night. The both enjoyed playing the new Wii (thanks Grandpa Gary and Grandma Nell), and had a great time. I noticed two things about how J is growing.

First, I thought J's friend was the tallest in the class. As this photo demonstrates, not so. J is taller by at least two and maybe three inches. Wow!

Second, they talked about girls! Ugh! I am so not ready for that. J has hinted that he might have a crush on a wonderful little girl in his class, but I thought it was just one of those following along with the crowd thing because his friend liked the same girl. Turns out his friend likes someone else, and J is sticking to his guns about liking the wonderful little girl. Hmmm. At least he has good taste in girls to like.

We did have the discussion that for the next few years (yes, years) it is appropriate to like in secret! Don't need any girlfriends anytime soon!

I got out and took some photos late in the afternoon yesterday. Went to the top of a nearby hill where there are some fields covered with snow and lined with old dry weeds and grasses. The weeds and grasses accumulate ice crystals and look beautiful.

Since I don't have a macro lens, these photos will have to do. A macro would really allow the beauty of the individual crystals to be evident.

But you can get the idea of what we see daily as we drive to and from town!

I'm thinking it may be time for an end of the year reflection post followed by a New Year's resolution type post. I'll let those ideas brew in my mind a bit, but you can check back later this week to see what I come up with.

Happy Monday!

More Sledding Today!

2009-12-26T17:35:00.001-07:00

Christmas fun!

2009-12-26T11:39:00.001-07:00

I made 10!

2009-12-24T08:59:00.005-07:00

Six of them I did yesterday! Two are not pictured here because I mailed one off already and the other is for J, and I didn't want him to see it. I thought I would make them for a niece and nephews and one for J. That was a total of 4.

Then a family with four children came to my attention that they were having a lean Christmas - blame the economy!

So I made four for them.

Then, I realized I forgot to get something for the two boys who live next door, so I made two more. These two had to be free of chokables because these boys are quite young.

It was fun.

I love these.

I was inspired by the cover of a magazine I saw at JoAnn's.

But mine are very different!

I didn't buy the magazine (not in the budget), and I don't even remember the title.

Happy Christmas Eve!

The last two weeks . . .

2009-12-22T20:21:00.004-07:00

have been busy! Too busy in some ways. I wanted to be relaxed and getting things done to prepare for Christmas and my new job. Instead, I ran around doing . . . well, that's the problem, I'm not sure what I was doing.

I know I tried (unsuccessfully) to get a photo of my family for Christmas cards. All we got was this mess:

Not acceptable! So we used a photo from early summer of just J. And, it is in color - a first for us in 10 Christmases!

Then, I had to try a self portrait for the announcement of my hiring in the school news letter. I tried to do that by myself . . . again, no success. I couldn't get the focus right without someone to sit in my place while I set the camera up. So, Andy helped me and we got this:

I did a bit of PSE magic to make it acceptable - you can't see the five huge scratches across my nose - got caught in a fight between older nasty cat and sweet little kitten. The older nasty cat, named Tana, ambushed poor little tiny Sophie while she was sleeping on the pillow next to my head in my bed. It was about 6:30 a.m., and I was innocently sleeping. Blood was everywhere! It was a mess! I freaked out! Now, I'm not all that excited about nasty old Tana cat. And I'm pretty protective of Sophie. There have been two other night time attacks since then, and I hide under the covers with Sophie until Tana passes.

Anyway, the photo turned out acceptable. I guess. Wish I was 40 pounds lighter, but that's a whole other blog post!

The other things that have filled our time include:

Lots and lots of work for Andy - poor man hasn't made it home for more than one or two dinners a week. He's tired! But, the biggest case actually unexpectedly settled after he won a series of important motions in it - so now he doesn't have trial in January. But he's still busy!
Getting J signed up for Basketball - which starts the night after my first day at work!
making Scotch Shortbread to give as gifts - gave up on the fudge because of all the milk involved and my tendency to snitchel. But, the Shortbread has butter, and I still snitchel, so I ended up with a couple of ache and fatigued days - bummer!
Finishing up the Spell-a-thon - a huge success at over $12,000 raised for the school, meaning there were lots of awards to give to hard working kids!
Finish making some Christmas gifts - and think of other things to make, embark on those projects, and then feel inadequate because I still have work to do on them - if only I hadn't decided to do them in the first place!
A day skiing for Andy and J - actually snowboarding for J;
A last minute photo shoot for a really fun family of eight! And then editing enough of those photos that they had a couple to choose from.
A meeting with J's teacher about his need to improve his handwriting! We are working during the Christmas break on the simple task of just making sure all the letters are on the line - not above, not below, but on the line. Really, he has shown himself to be capable of some very beautiful handwriting, but he does not choose to perform that way all the time. Hurumph!
Lots of laundry, grocery shopping, last minute stocking stuffer shopping, and all that other stuff that comes with the season.

So, that's a recap! Nothing too exciting! Just a couple more days until Christmas, and I think I might get it all done!

Tomorrow I'll try to give a more J focused update for you Grandpas out there who might like that focus better than this.

Some Things I've Learned!

2009-12-10T08:19:00.007-07:00

Even at forty-five I keep learning and learning and learning. Here are a few things I'm continuing to learn:

Force feeding a kitten with a bottle is not easy. I imagined it would be cute and romantic, like breastfeeding my babe! It wasn't. It was a fight to get her to open her mouth. It was dissolved food mixed with Kitten Replacement Milk all over her face and neck and my clothes every four ours. It was stress and worry about whether she got enough, and then stress and worry about whether I was forcing too much into her. We had to do it for almost two weeks, but this little girl is finally motivated to eat her kibble on her own.

(And to use Santa as a sleeping pillow!) So glad of that! Now she's cleaner, more active, and finally growing! She was so tiny, and not eating, and I feared her demise. But now she runs and plays and is growing. She's still tiny for her age - she's got some catching up to do.

Not eating dairy really makes me feel better! And that is so wonderful!

I don't have much self control. Sadly that is true, as my attempts to eliminate dairy from my diet have shown. I feel so much better, but I still I struggle not to slip a little nibble of cheese in here, a dollop of sour cream in there, and butter, well, let's not talk about that at all! I need to have a mission to be 100% dairy free - no butter or milk in my biscuit recipe. No batter fried anything since batter has milk. Well, unless the milk in the batter is goat's milk. To that end, we are having Lemon Meringue Birthday Pie tonight. I just can't do frosting.
People who say you can't tell a difference in temperatures below zero degrees are lying! Negative 25 is definitely colder than zero! No question in my mind about it! I know this because we haven't seen temperatures above zero since Sunday afternoon and personal experience is that yesterday's high of -2 was much more tolerable than Tuesday's high of -8 and much more enjoyable than Monday's high of -12. But there is hope to break that Zero mark today! Wouldn't that be nice. (By the way, just to be clear, we're talking temperatures Fahrenheit, not Celsius!) I'd take a nice comfortable 10 degrees! Not a loft goal, but a good one all the same. Supposed to get all the way up to the 20's by tomorrow, so a heat wave is a-comin'!
Old dogs can learn new tricks - at least I hope so! You see, this old dog is going to be learning a new trick at her new full time job as the Development Director at Petra Academy! Yep, that's me, fundraiser extraordinaire! Who knew I'd go from high powered Bay Area law firm representing Chevron and Exxon and Waste Management to non-profit fundraising? Amazing how God has plans for me - and for you too, just in case you were wondering!) The school is building a new building, so I'm stepping right into a bricks and mortar Capital Campaign. This is a little different than my two experiences in silent auctions or my recent stint helping to run a Spell-a-Thon. That $10,000 raised in the Spell-a-thon is short a couple of zeros and then some for my new lofty goals. Haven't started the job yet, but will in the next three weeks or so! Until then, I'm on my knees conversing with God about His choices in my life and how I believe he can do this job and I'll be His vessel but only because he's asked me! Pretty humbling to realize how much I still have to learn for this job! And amazing I found a job where I will be with my child - he goes to this school!
My heart aches to take better photos - and I need to improve my Photoshop skills. In fact, I need to upgrade from Photoshop Elements to regular Photoshop. I know, silly me to have something so trivial be part of my learning, but it gives me joy to see improvement. With this cold weather I haven't taken my camera outside in days! With the new job coming, I realize I won't have daily opportunities to trek around my neighborhood looking for interesting photo subjects. Heck, I haven't even done our family photo for the Christmas card yet! But I find myself prowling the Internet to learn more and more about photography and processing photos. It's not an obsession - yet - but it can be a distraction. I don't need distractions, so I'm going to have to work on keeping it in perspective. But just because I can, I'll share a little photo with you from a photo shoot I did in November.

It is possible to do almost all homemade Christmas gifts for the various children in our lives! This I know now because I'm almost done. Just three more to go! Feels so productive. And the gifts are so cute! Totally inspired by others, but so cute.
And even with a job looming, my artistic inclinations are continuing to fester. Here is a project I want to try before I start my new job - already gathered most of the supplies! Isn't it beautiful! And it opens up to show a rough quilted image. It is a bit of a jump for me from paper projects to fabric projects, but I'm super excited about it.
There is a time to stop rambling on - and this is it!

Have a great day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T11:23:00.004-07:00

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.

Serve the Lord with gladness;

Come before Him with joyful singing.

Know that the Lord Himself is God;

It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;

We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving,

And His courts with praise.

Give thanks to Him; bless His name.

For the Lord is good;

His loving kindness is everlasting,

And His faithfulness to all generations.

That is Psalm 100, and it is what the Pilgrims sang on November 9, 1620, when the shot of "La-a-nd, Ho" was heard after 65 days at sea.

We are enjoying a morning around the house getting a few things done before going to Grandma and Grandpa's for the big feast. Christmas lights are going up! Clutter is being cleared! Floors are swept, and laundry is in process. Ah, the joys of festive holiday activities!

Things we are thankful for:

1. For Pilgrims and all we can learn from their story. We go through the Barbara Rainey book "Thanksgiving, a Time to Remember" every year, and are reminded of the hardships faced by the Pilgrims and the provisions God made for them. I am always amazed at how much of the details of their lives revolved around God. Not only were they motivated to leave Europe because they sought religious freedom, but they lived daily with a focus on God and His goodness.

Did you know that just three years prior to their landing in Plymouth the area was occupied by a very violent and aggressive tribe of Native Americans? And that tribe was literally wiped out by a terrible sickness, so that when the Pilgrims arrived the land was available for settlement. No way they could have survived if they were fighting that tribe all the time. God had a plan for them to succeed, obviously!

And, did you know they came into the harbor on a Saturday, and then did not leave the Mayflower on Sunday because it was Sabbath and they were committed to honoring God even if it meant one more day on that awful, smelly, small, cramped, cold boat? Amazing examples to all of us!

2. J is over the H1N1 virus - at least he has no fever for two days, and his cough is improving daily. It was a big deal, but we made it. Now, we are praying that Andy and I will stay healthy!

3. Sophie - our new kitten.

She's got quite a bossy personality!

The vet says she's a bit underweight, so we are pumping the food and watching her grow!

Have you ever seen such blue eyes? And I didn't touch her eyes up at all in Photoshop!

And guess who really likes her? Yes, that is Leo the chainsaw biting, at the gate growling, often stupid dog licking her! He licks her every morning until she is shaking her head to get the wet off. So funny! Clearly, he loves her!

She doesn't seem to mind him either. Now, Tana, the well established cat, she is not so thrilled about Sophie. She always takes a while to get used to new things, so we'll give her some time.

4. A strong marriage - and a happy one at that. Just heard of some good friends who are splitting up after more than 10 years, and it makes me so grateful for my husband who is committed to me no matter how crazy or temperamental I get, and for my own commitment to make our marriage work out. The idea of splitting up is just not even considered. It is amazing how creative you can get when you know that ending the relationship is not an option. Suddenly problem solving gets just that much more effort because you know you either have to solve it or live with it, and usually solving it is the better option. Of course this attitude is 100% a gift of grace from God - not something we can do on our own human power!

5. The way God puts the pieces together so we can have what we need. Sometimes that means us learning to cut back. Sometimes that means items on sale just when we need them - or hand-me-downs in a bag that contain just what J needs in just the right size. Sometimes that means a little extra unexpected income. But always, by the mercy of God, we manage to make it. He is the great provider!

6. Hope! Yes, we have hope. We may not always be good at showing it, but the reality is, because we know that God is a personal God who looks out for us and cares for us specifically. That allows us to keep going even when it just looks so hopeless from our perspective. Things don't always turn out the way we wanted and our ways are not always easy. But we know that "the Lord himself is God" and that he is good. That sustains us when all other things appear to be failing us. What a wonderful assurance for daily life!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

At My Church Yesterday!

2009-11-09T08:45:00.002-07:00

Going to church is always enjoyable. I love the particular congregation I'm a member of and the way they have welcomed and loved on my family for the last six years or so.

Yesterday, during the worship music time I notices so many neat things. Really, I wished I had my camera, although I debate the merits of taking photos during worship. But to keep my thoughts organized and preserve the moment, during offering time I jotted down a few notes to share.

Children (mostly boys) were spontaneously dancing and jumping joyfully during the singing of These are the Days of Elijah - They've all gone to camp together and learned the same motions and dance moves, and can't resist using them when singing that "rockin' song."
My niece Danielle wrote "I love you God, always" on her bulletin cover - not bad for a 6 year old!
We prayed for orphans since it was Orphan Sunday across the country - and we honored adoptive families, and we have a lot of those in our church.
The worship team drummer was barefoot - is every Sunday. And sometimes he jumps over the chair in front of him during prayer to get up to the platform after the sermon - but only if there is nobody in that seat.
Speaking of the worship team, our electric base player is also the electric keyboard player, and yesterday she played both in the same song - although not at the same moment.
We had a college age guy with dreadlocks and a college age girl about 7 months pregnant with no husband, and they were welcomed and enjoyed.
We honored Veterans, including an Iwo Jima (sp?) survivor who was wearing his medals - my husband commented that he was amazed at the percentage of men in our congregation who have served in some capacity.
I saw spouses holding hands as they sang.
And college age daughters holding hands with their mothers.
One of the men there is the father of a child in a case where Andy represents the mother - but we can still exchange the warm smiles of fellow Christians.
Because we have a Life Recovery Group hosted at our church, services are often attended by people battling sever drug addition, and particularly men who are in the "Pre-Release" program at the jail.

Frankly, I could go on and on. I'm sort of proud of my church. Not because they have the best music (although I really like the music), and not because we have the biggest numbers. No, I'm proud because when I am there for worship on Sunday it is easy to see the love of Christ between people, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit in people's lives. Because my husband is a criminal defense attorney I sometimes see people there and know more of their story then they might be comfortable making public - but I keep my mouth shut and just celebrate the fact that they are there and the Lord has the opportunity to work in their lives.

So that is my post about my church. Sorry no pictures. I just don't have the nerve yet to take pictures during the worship service.

Kittens, sheep and a turkey

2009-11-04T09:03:00.005-07:00

We went to my friends house meet our soon to be family member:

We can't wait to bring our little baby home in about three weeks.

Along the way we met some siblings of our new baby:

And we were introduced to this gentleman:

And these fine ladies:

It is always so fun to go to Tamara's house! J loves playing with her son! We had a great time, so thank you to Tamara and her three beautiful kids! And thank you for the eggs! We love farm fresh eggs!

My boy called me to the front porch yesterday evening to take this picture. He has an eye for what is good! I just wish I had the skills to get it right!

The light of the moon has blown out the branches that we could see in front of it. I just didn't have time to play with the exposures, etc. Maybe at the next full moon.

Thinks I'm thinking about:

Want to get to the project I need to do for a Keepsakes Event in early December, but I've got much to do before then!
I finished all the time sheets and got them mailed off yesterday - boy does that feel good.
I was pretty tired last night, and my hands ache, so I'm fearful of the dreaded mystery disease coming back, but I'm trying to be courageous and just keep going.
A lot of time needs to be spent editing photos over the next few days! Time to get at it!
I'm making progress on several projects I want to do for Christmas - have two completed and seven significantly progressed. Guess that's pretty good, except I want to work on those instead of photos - responsibilities first!
It is probably time to get out and do some exercise - soon! Like this afternoon, with J, after school. It's a date - hope he wants to come along!

Have a Great Wednesday!

Oh, and please pray for Michael Jullian, a one week old baby of my cousin and her husband, who is in the hospital because he's projectile vomiting and not keeping any food down. My heart goes out to them, as I am certain this is a very stressful time. God is good, and will provide what is needed here, but He loves our prayers too! So, please, a little time on our knees is appropriate!

Randomness!

2009-11-02T10:11:00.002-07:00

So, it's the second day of November, and things are humming along here.

I feel better. Yep, completely better. Since mid-July I struggled with mystery disease that caused extreme physical fatigue. Now, I don't. Deserves a post of its own some day, so I'll think about how to do that. Just a hint, prayer is a big part of this story!

Last Friday was the recitation at J's school. He had a big part in the Latin class' play:

And his forth grade class recited "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere" - a very exciting poem, I might add! It was wonderful.

Sometimes people who don't really know much about our school assume it is a serious and relatively unjoyful place because it has high standards for character development, behavior and academics and because any school that teaches Latin to elementary age kids must be terrible, don't you know. But I think the sheer glee in this young man's face (below) is evidence that we are not unjoyful, and the tie is absolute proof that we are not overly serious.

This young man was part of the fifth grade play which was absolutely hilarious! Those kids have them some dramatic flare!

It was so fun to see all the kids reciting poems, performing in plays, and having a great time showing off their wonderful knowledge and skills! I LOVE this school!

J is home from school today - parent teacher conferences - and has a little buddy here to play. They are tromping around in the brown fields looking for things to shoot with the bow and arrow.

We had a wonderful dinner with friends over last night. Fellowshipping with dear friends just warms my heart and reminds me of how good God is. Just think about it: he made us social beings to be in relationship with people. What a gift that is!

On my plate this week:

Andy's time sheets need to be turned into office billing and submitted;
Hoping to get a peek at the kittens our friends' cat had a couple weeks ago - so we can pick one out to be our own when it's old enough;
Going to a friends house to help plan a scrapbooking/papercrafting event;
Dinner at my sister-in-law's house (I'm to bring dessert, and my boys want a pumpkin pie);
Working on the five crowns I'm making and Christmas gifts for J and some of his cousins;
Hopefully re-instituting a daily walk for exercise!
Finishing up my last senior photo editing and moving on to editing some family photos I've taken over the last many weeks - I'm still behind in editing (see mention above of several months of fatigue), but I'm catching up, and that gives me great hope.
Getting at least one, and maybe as many as four more trees to cut up for firewood.

Whew! That's a fun week, but probably kind of busy too.

Hope your November is off to a fantastic start!

Halloween Costumes!

2009-11-01T08:58:00.002-07:00

Here it is for all those interested to see.

J wanted to be a ghost like the one in Charlie Brown. We had lots of discussions about our limits on scary costumes, and came to the conclusion that this was okay. Andy and I draw the line at blood and gore, and at mysticism. This is about as close as he will ever get to that. But, I was concerned about how KKK it looked when done with white, so we got some grey fleece and covered it with spider webs and bat lace. He love it.

And it was nice and warm!

Our friend NM joined us for trick-or-treating, as that is just how the day worked out. His family was hit with H1N1 this week, and he is better, but easily tired. He's wearing part of J's costume from last year, which is what we had that would fit him. He seemed pretty happy with that!

We joined a cousin and her family (she was a beautiful queen, but I do not have a photo to share) and some friends (the dirty laundry basket for one, and super girl for the other) and off we went on a relatively warm night here in the greater Bozeman area. Lots of fun for every one.

Happy first of November - refermation day for many, Day of the Dead for those of Mexican descent, and generally the first day of Christmas preparation panic for me. Oh, and I'm so excited for the extra hour today! Yahoo!

Seniors

2009-10-29T07:38:00.004-07:00

Just sharing a couple - three of the results of my senior photo taking this year.

Two more seniors to finish - by the beginning of next week!

Then it's on to family photos for four families.

Busy with photos is fun and exciting.

And also a bit of pressure because I really want these photos to make my clients happy.

That takes time and attention.

Time and attention that can't be focused elsewhere!

To give time and attention I need to be organized.

And there in lies the issue - I need to be more organized. But with so much on my plate it seems an insurmountable task. With out prayer it is.

A Prayer:

Thank you God for all my many blessings. Please give me the insight to see them as blessings and not just as another thing on my plate. I humbly ask for the ability to prioritize in a way that brings glory to you. And then to let go of the things that won't bring you glory, knowing that when the time is right you will bring them to me in a way that can glorify you. Please grant me peace to do my work in your name! Amen.

And with prayer, I head off into the rest of this day, joyful and hopeful that God will be glorified in what I do, and the priorities will be where they need to be.

Smells good here!

2009-10-26T11:47:00.003-07:00

Making bread today to go with the homemade chili for dinner.

Spent the weekend quietly allowing J to recover from a cold. I don't think it was the flu, but he was pretty happy snuggling up at home most of the weekend. He did go out on Saturday afternoon with his dad to cut down a tree. But otherwise he did a lot of this:

He's really into crafting and drawing and painting these days. And he got out his legos this weekend, which is really rare - he's not generally inclined towards activities that take small motor skills. But he's having a spurt of it, and I'm over joyed because he could use development in that area so that his handwriting can be smaller and neater.

I did some crafting too:

Actually, those were done on Thursday when I had my friends over for some crafting - hi girls! It was fun! I'm focused on using up some of my "older" papers, and finding that I have some treasures I'm excited to work with in my stash. Probably only need to be adhesive for the next couple of months, and that just might fit in my budget - adhesive above the black line, new papers and embellies BELOW!

I did more scrapbooking over the weekend, but they are as a gift for someone so I can't show them. Let me just say I'm keeping them very simple because I think that is what will be the most appreciated. Not my usual style, tons of photos per page, minimal embellishments, and surprisingly satisfying! I am going to do some similar for myself for those series of photos where I just want to get those family photos and stories archived in a way that they can be passed down to future generations.

That's Not My Job!

2009-10-21T20:28:00.001-06:00

This boy really is so wonderful!

But, he's nine, and there are some little annoying habits that he and I have gotten into lately. So, I'm going to put a stop to it by no longer doing things that are not my job.

It's not my job to nag him in the morning to get everything done. What is my job is to make sure he knows what is expected, and then let him experience the consequences when he doesn't meet expectations. I'm done with "warnings" which are really just a euphemism for nagging. I'm done with "reminders," yes, just another euphemism for nagging.

It's not that he was suffering from a bad attitude in the morning. In fact just this morning I was musing about how he is so cheerful in the morning, especially compared to the complete grump I was before school at his age. It is, however the fact that he is rather happy go lucky in the morning that leads to some of our problems. He's so joyful that he kind of wanders around the house aimlessly.

The one with the bad attitude is me - after nagging all morning, I'm not really very nice anymore. I want to be nice. I want to be peaceful in the morning. I want to start the day off right.

So, under the new plan, if he hasn't brushed his teeth, fed the dog, put on his belt, tucked in his shirt, tied his shoes, put his lunch bag in his back pack, or whatever, he just can't leave for school. The "school bus driver" (either Andy or I) will just sit on the couch and read until he has accomplished all of his responsibilities. If he is late, well, there are consequences at school for that - and he will have to pay them.

We've done this for two days, after letting him know that we would not be "reminding" him of what to do. And so far he's made it to school on time both days. But this morning, it was close.

Long term goal: he needs to take more responsibility for himself.

My job is to help him learn that responsibility, not to take it away from him before he's had a chance to master it.

2009-10-16T11:16:00.004-06:00

Outside my window. . . A sunny day, with green still in the lawn - amazing for October.

I am thinking . . . I have a lot to do, but it is all do-able if I can just stay focused (and insert a bit of rest now and then so I can keep my energy levels up). I'm also thinking and praying for a friend in crisis. I found myself advising her to do what is right, not because it is easy, not because it is more enjoyable, not because she will like the result, but just because it is right and God asks us to do it. I cling to that thought - it may not produce the result the world tells me to seek, but if it is right in God's eyes I really need to do it. It is comforting and challenging to live that thought!

I am thankful for... my continued renewed energy; a wonderful husband who is so worthy of my respect; a child who brings so much joy; opportunities to do some of the things I have a passion for in life.

From the kitchen...tonight "Fancy Quicidillas" with goat cheese for me - remember, part of my feeling better is the elemination of cow dairy - and lots of roasted veggies and chicken to make them "fancy."

I am wearing... jeans, my popcorn shirt and a sweater, and not any make-up yet.

I am creating...back up files for my photos because my hard drive needs more room!

I am reading...The C Factor, The Common Cure for your Capital Campaign Conundrums by Patrick G. McLaughlin. It's for our school fund raising related to the new building we're doing, and for general fundraising.

I am hoping...for two good photo shoots this weekend and time to finish two other processing jobs.

I am hearing...silence. But, if I talk to Tana, the cat, I will hear Leo the dog jump off his bed, run down the stairs and trot over to me to be sure he gets in on the attention action.

One of my favorite things...there are so many, I hate to choose, but right now I have to say, simplifying my schedule and not being over committed

A few plans for the rest of the week... enjoy the weekend of football game, photo shoots, log splitting, working on a work project with Andy, church, and relaxing Sunday evening while watching Amazing Race with J.

A picture to share...

This is from last October. We won't get these wonderful golden colors this year because the zero degree morning on Monday killed off the chances of that. Oh well, glad I have pictures to remind me of last year's splendor. This year will have it's own dull brownish grey beauty, and I will enjoy that too!

Below The Black Line

2009-10-15T09:07:00.003-06:00

This photo is from yesterday, on my way home from taking J to school. White horse, white snow, cool clouds, neat lighting. I just couldn't resist!

We started the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace course. Or at least, Andy attends and tells me all about it.

I am so relieved because there is actual a system for people like us who do not have any idea how much money will or will not be coming in each month. It is one of the most nerve wracking parts of being small business owners, but now we have a plan for budgeting.

Its called "The Black Line!" Or at least that is what I call it. It goes like this: Make a list of all of your financial obligations. Then, prioritize them - what has to be paid before the other things. Ramsey suggests that the first four items should be food, housing, transportation and utilities, because basically you can't go without those things. Then, start all the other items.

Andy and I went through the process separately, and came up with very similar priorities. I don't know what he thought was his strategy, but after those four basics, I put anything that was necessary to continue to make money - bar fees for Andy, an office for Andy, that kind of stuff.

Once you have your list, keep a tally of how much it costs to fulfill it. When you get to the amount that you have as income that month, draw a black line. Everything below that line is just not getting paid that month.

Now, here is the hardest part: Ramsey says if such and such creditor calls and says you didn't pay us this month you say - I didn't have enough money for everything this month, and you fell below the black line. Then, you quietly hang up. Gulp! Okay! I'm hoping that most months none of the things that we would get a call about will fall below the black line. But at least we have a plan if that does happen.

This month some things are falling below the black line:

new clothes - I sewed the big rip in my slip and said "good enough!"
Anything over $500 in groceries (food, toiletries, pet food, household cleaning);
eating out - not even buying little snacks out, gotta make those at home;
books and magazines - thank God for the library;
art supplies - wasn't buying many of those lately anyway;
a new camera lens - well, that really was kind of a pipe dream anyway;
photo printing - have to use older photos already printed for scrapbooking next week;
Halloween Decorations - that one really has J resenting the black line;
Early Christmas shopping.

See, the big thing is that I can't really think of anything we can't do without that falls below the line. And frankly, only spending above the line feels so safe! And safety is so much better than anything below the line.

Works for me!

Tid-Bits In Black and White

2009-10-12T09:21:00.002-06:00

It's cold - 0 degrees when J left for school.

It made me so glad Andy is taking him to school these days.

Also makes me thankful for the little portable heater at my feet.

I'm feeling better, but not best.

Glad to be better! Thank you God.

Hoping to get to best soon! Please God!

My boy is growing up so very much!

But sometimes he just likes to lay on the floor and play with his toys! Saw that yesterday, and just loved to watch him with his imagination!

And he's handling the loss of our cat so much better than he handled the loss of the dog a year ago. Signs of his emotional growth.

With my re-found energy, I need to start getting things done!

The list is long - Mary Kay, around the house, photos processed, follow-through on volunteer jobs at the school and church, and to support Andy's office.

Not necessarily in that order.

No longer have physical health as an excuse.

Time to get off the stick and do it.

So, umm, our Spider cat died.

2009-10-08T08:49:00.009-06:00

Yeah, that is the thing on our hearts around here today.

Last night I found her on the laundry room floor - right in the doorway - apparently suffering from a stroke and going constantly in and out of siezures. I knew right away that she was not going to make it through the night. Andy ended up having to take her into the all night vet to have them put her down because she went into a siezure that didn't stop for about an hour - not until they gave her the shot. Vet thinks she had a blood clot - I assume that means a stroke.

While my heart is sad to lose our friend of ten plus years, it is absolutely shattered for J, who mourns from the depth of his soul.

He got to say good-bye last night and pet her body this morning - that is important to him! He's doing better than when Bo died last October. But I now that after Bo died he went into a depression tail spin that lasted for 9 months. I would do just about anything to prevent that from happening again.

This tragedy happened after J and I had a really wonderful mother-son afternoon. We needed to wait in town for Andy, and after getting his homework done at the libary, J suggested we walk around downtown. So we did. It was snowing lightly, and not too cold. Here are some of the things we saw:

It was a great walk, and very special momma and son time. He told me how much he really enjoyed it!

So, today he decided he wanted to go to school. I'm praying for him to make it through the day well. Then, tomorrow is a day off, and we'll have a quiet day at home to just be and adjust.

Rockin' October

2009-10-06T13:35:00.003-06:00

Yep, it's here. A really good month. At least that's how I'm planning it. Up for this month?

Scrapbooking at my house on the 22nd. I can't wait!
More football for J.
Baking with Pumpkin - which I hear is going to be in short supply, so I'm off to buy a case of it at Costco this afternoon.
Eggplant Barley soup - yummy fall food!
Getting my head into the holidays!
Finishing Senior photos - two completely done, two needing processing, and one getting the photos taken on Saturday!
Focusing on Christmas photos for friends and families - two families waiting for processing, and several families that need to get onto the calendar!
Fun fall lighting on the landscape!
The snow we got over the past week melting, so the trees can actually change colors before we end up with a white landscape.
Cuddling with my boys on the couch when the evenings are cold.

Things I'm thankful for:

Feeling a bit more energetic, although still need to improve. But, hey, I'm actually contemplating exercise, which hasn't been even a possibility for over two months!

My brother being another healthy, hardworking, loving man in my son's life!

Smiling boys who enjoy playing with older cousins like my J.

The opportunity to take my camera out and play with it!

Have a great Tuesday - or what is left of it!

Yesterday morning

2009-10-01T09:22:00.001-06:00

All of these photos were taken yesterday morning. And all of them were played with in PSE.

Enjoy!

That's More Like It!

2009-09-30T08:39:00.002-06:00

It has been the warmest September since we moved to Montana almost 7 years ago. Bordering on hot. Ugh! I love fall! I want fall!

And my boy wants snow! He's been praying for it! And this morning he got his prayer answered!

Just a dusting, but it is still falling.

It was so cute because after celebrating with song and dance, J suddenly said: Oh mom, now I feel bad. I prayed for snow, and now Ellie's mules are going to starve to death because they don't have any hay."

After I assured him that this is not so much snow that mules can't get down to the grasses underneath, he went back to celebrating.

Medical update: I do not have Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis. Now continuing the testing and the hunt for an explanation. Blessing is, I'm feeling a little more energetic this week - the power of prayer, I'm certain of it! And emotionally I'm tired of focusing on being tired, so I'm trying to turn my attention to activities - doing my business, photography, and art. These are things I can do when I have the energy, and don't have to feel bad if I need to set them aside - except I'd really like to keep my business at a certain level!

Anyway, I'm slogging through, but working to keep my spirits up above the functioning of my body.

Before and After Photos

2009-09-28T12:33:00.010-06:00

I'm shooting raw, and learning to use the cannon conversion software. I've got the opportunity to do some fixing up before I save the photos as jpeg - options I would not have in PSE. So, here are some before and after photos(all taken yesterday morning in my garden), using only the cannon software - no PSE at all - not even a crop!

Yesterday we had frost!

This is the state of my very neglected garden!

Fortunately there are some beauties among the weeds and seed pods!

Speaking of seed pods, they are sometimes quite amazing!

Thistles are so bad either!

Not a lot of apples on the tree this year, but we'll take what we get. And frankly, I just don't have the energy this fall to deal with tons, so maybe the small harvest is a blessing in disguise!

I want to point out that today, September 29th, is the 12 year anniversary of my mom's death. I am so glad that as I talk to J about her I can assure him she is in heaven. We've talked a lot about heaven and death lately, and really, it's beautiful to see him beginning to understand the difference faith makes on these issues!

Have a great Tuesday.

Today I am . . .

2009-09-22T12:39:00.002-06:00

Copying Sharyn Tormanen's blogging idea!
Glad to feel up to the planned events of the day - not bonging off the walls with energy, but better than most of last week!
Excited to get a pampering hair cut this afternoon.
Dreading Andy leaving on a business trip tomorrow morning.
Glad Andy doesn't travel for business very often.
Feeling like I accomplished something because I folded two loads of laundry (but still have two more to go).
Grossed out by the number of flies that died in the upstairs guest room since I last swept that room - eeewwwwww!
Pleased I found a book I want to read on the "new arrivals" shelf at the library yesterday!
Starting the Dave Ramsey materials Andy brought home last night.
Contemplating trying a no dairy diet for a month in hopes of gaining more energy.
Thankful for our local Christian radio station that had some inspiring discussions this morning.
Proud of J for all the improvement I see in his school performance so far this year (yeah, I know we're just two weeks into the year, but it is nice to see him back at it with a better attitude than most of last year).
Considering that part of J's lack-luster performance in school last year might have been because he was stressed and distressed by some unfortunate events he experienced
Thankful for the wonderful wise Christian counselor who helped J to deal with his feelings about losing his dog and thinking his dad was dying.
Needing to leave for the haircut in time to bring Andy the lunch he left on the kitchen counter this morning.
Hoping to get some Senior Photos processed - and starting to believe I might catch up on them if my energy levels don't plummet!
Praying my energy levels don't plummet!
Wishing you a wonderful day!

Updates

2009-09-11T09:21:00.009-06:00

It's been awhile! Fall is here, although our weather has seemed more like summer. Considering that summer was more like spring, I guess this was predictable. Just this weekend we are starting to get some grey clouds and cooler temps, and even a thunder storm.

With fall we've had the advent of school, and the accompanying running in and out of town to take J and pick him up. It's basically two hours of the day gone. But Andy has helped me quite a bit, taking J on his way into court or the office. I can't tell you what a blessing that is.

Football also has started, and our J is loving that! He's playing center most of the offensive plays, and Andy tells me he's quite a good snapper. He's also playing some defense, but I have to be honest here, he has never yet pulled any one's flag. He's just not that fast. But, he is a good blocker, and I guess that counts for something. He loves playing. This is the last year for flag, and he's looking forward to next year in pads. Me, well, not so sure about that, but what's a mom to do? For those of you with inquiring minds that want to know, Leo The Stupid Dog is recovering well from his fight with the chain saw. His purple stitches are still there, but he's done with antibiotics and he seems his normal happy self. However, just to keep the money flowing to the vet, Spider the cat is having some problems. Nothing as dramatic as biting the chain saw, but she's showing her age a bit sooner than we hoped. Let's just say, I've gotten quite good at giving her liquid medicine over the past ten days or so.

MY HEALTH ADVENTURE:

Ten days ago Andy and I took a big adventure to Billings - largest city in Montana. Oh my gosh! Made me feel like Bozeman (the big town in our county) is the tiniest little town. But I know it's not. Every little tiny inkling that maybe I could live in city again was destroyed. No way!

Anyway, we were headed to the Billings Clinic for my rheumatology appointment. Now, you have to understand that this "clinic" is in a new building that opened this year, and I am afraid - yes, very afraid - because that building makes me feel like I'm going to the Star Trek clinic. Yes, I know I'm dating myself with that reference, but Oh My Gosh! I couldn't believe it. The waiting rooms for the various doctors are more like an airport terminal than anything else. Not much sign of a personal touch anywhere to be found. One receptionist desk for the rheumatologist, physical therapist, oncologist, radiologist, and several other "ologists" all in that part of the giant building. It was crazy! No way the receptionist is going to greet you by name and ask you how your family is in that environment. My town may be tiny, but I like that it is also personal.

The doctor was nice, younger than me, but nice. That "younger than me" thing is a bit weird. First time that's happened, but Andy assured me it will be more and more common. Apparently I'm not exactly "classic" of any particular disease process, so there is lots of testing and hemming and hawing going on. Hoping to know more, but not very optimistic that there will be answers when the test results get back. But, that's life, I guess! I'm beginning to think maybe I'm just insane. That would be a fun diagnosis, don't you think?

That's it for updates right now.

Stupid Dog!

2009-09-03T09:14:00.004-06:00

Theory: If we get a little unexpected money to use on some of the long term projects we have in mind or just to give us a little breathing room, Leo the Stupid Dog will get sick or injure himself so that we use the money at the vet instead of on our goals. I call it the periodic transfer of money to the vet, and it has been going on for about four years now.

<Context: Andy got some unexpected but much appreciated income through the office this week, and we have been chatting about all the different places we could apply the money and put it to good use. It was nice to think of having the luxury of needing to decide the best way to use a little extra, instead of talking about how to make what we have cover the absolute necessities.

<Task: Start the chain saw to see if it is in good working order for our planned wood cutting later this month.

<Proof of Theory: Leo, the stupid dog, bit at the chain saw when it was running, and . . . you guessed it, cut his mouth. Lucky for him he didn't cut off his whole nose. The real kicker is he's done this before. The previous injury was very minor, just a scratch really, and no need to go to the vet. So, you would have thought he'd learned his lesson and would stay away from the chain saw. Oh, but wait, remember, this dog is part Catahoola, a very stubborn breed of dog; a breed that is absolutely determined to conquer everything, including in this case, the chain saw! Stubborn dog = stupid dog!

<New Task: Take Leo to the vet and give the vet all our money. So, he's at the vet this morning, probably going to need antibiotics at least, and maybe stitches, although there isn't much left to stitch together, so he may just have to live with a 1.5 inch notch in his lip for the rest of his life, and let it heal without stitches. We know about this kind of injury because way back when we had this incident. Life can be interesting around here!

<Conclusions:

<1. Leo does not want us to have any extra money, EVER! Either that or he really wants our vet to be wealthy!

<2. We must really love this dog, because he's been out of budget for a long time, but we keep paying for all his stuff anyway. This may have to end someday.

<3. I am probably not going on our annual trip to Flathead Lake this weekend (but Andy and J will go), because somebody will need to stay home and give Leo his antibiotics - and I'm not asking a neighbor to do this when Leo is injured in his mouth and probably pretty grumpy. I don't need a law suit because Leo bit someone - which I'm sure Leo would just see as another way to help us spend any extra money that comes our way.

<4. Leo is not allowed to be outside when the chain saw gets started. In fact, as an extra precaution, maybe it would be best if we made a rule that the chain saw cannot be started on our property at all. Because, with this tire popping, chain saw eating, super stubborn dog, you never know, he might like burst through a window just to get at the chain saw and seek his revenge.

Getting Real

2009-09-02T09:32:00.004-06:00

I don't know how many blog readers I have left - probably not many since I've been so unreliable as a blogger this past spring and summer. But, for those of you hanging in there with me, it's time for a little "true confessions."

Reality is hitting.

I'm exhausted.

Yeah, kind of like Leo here.

Really, I think the technical/medical term is "fatigued."

I'm also achey in the feet, ankle, fingers, hands and wrists - with nodules growing on some of my finger joints.

The hard part of the reality is that the reason for this fatigue is probably health related and not likely to go away in this lifetime. The likely big cause of the achey fatigue? An autoimmune disease. At this point not sure which one, but have some ideas on that issue. Trying not to speculate though, because . . . well, because I don't like to be wrong, and this area of medical issues is a super complicated one where I'm likely to really get everything all wrong. I'm hoping to learn more from the Rheumatologist I'm seeing next week.

One reassuring thing is, I don't expect to die from whatever is going on, although some days it feels like I could just go to sleep and never wake up because I am just so very very tired.

I feel like a total goober for all the things I've not accomplished, done poorly, or somehow let somebody down just because I was tired.

I haven't met goals I set for myself.

I haven't done everything that I know would make my husband more comfortable in our home.

I haven't played with J as much as he and I would both like this summer.

But, I'm learning:

Learning to manage fatigue.
Learning to accept that I can't do everything that pops into my mind.
Learning to prioritize.
Learning to live a simpler life.
Learning to take rests in the middle of the afternoon.
Learning not to put two busy days in a row on my schedule.
Learning to lower my expectations in some ways.
Learning to grow despite the fatigue.
Learning to trust God that the things he wants me to do can still be done with this condition.

And despite the fatigue, God is blessing me with so many opportunities. I've had four or five photo shoots scheduled for Senior Photos - I'm spreading them out so I don't get overwhelmed or too tired. I've been able to use some or my necessarily less active time at the computer to educate myself more on photography and photoshop elements. And many other things.

Heck, I've taken up reading again because although my body is exhausted and needs those afternoon rest times, my mind goes a million miles an hour. To prevent it from going a million miles an hour at guilt for what I'm not up and around doing, I read. Fiction is a good distraction.

My son and my husband have been wonderful about accomodating the new achey, tired me - most of the time. They didn't mind the camping trip where I just sat and read a book with my feet in the creek most of the time. J is picking up a few more chores around the house - I've even got him helping with dishes.

So, despite the reality that limits the amount I can get done every day, and requires that many things get placed on the back burner, I'm not depressed.

In fact, I'm inspired in many ways:

Inspired about art, with so many many ideas, just needing to find the energy to get to all of them. Even got to start one last week.
Inspired to find a good pace for my Mark Kay business that allows me to rest when I need, but still help meet the family goals.
Inspired to allow God to work through this situation and show his strength in the weakness I'm now experiencing.
Inspired to simplify my life so that all the things I do count for something.
Inspired to do the things I can do and do them well.
Inspired to celebrate the accomplishments of my son - including this:

Yeah, a bull's eye for my boy. He was so excited!

So, that is my reality. If you stayed with me this long, thank you! I hope to blog more often, but right now I just do it when I can.

Time warp!

2009-08-29T10:50:00.002-06:00

I love autumn! Always have. But this year the fast approaching season change seems so out of context. As I've said before, we are just now getting the warm dry weather we expected all summer, but next weekend is Labor Day. Then school starts. And usually, cold nights, frost in the morning, yellow leaves on the trees, and brown fields of stubble fading into the stark grey of winter are not far behind. So, we are off to enjoy a late summer hike as a family. Gotta get going while the getting is good.

Finishing out the summer!

2009-08-27T10:35:00.008-06:00

Having a lot of trouble with Blogger today - uploaded photos 5 times before it worked, and now things are deleting off the page faster than I can control. But I'm going to give this a shot anyway.

Summer has finally gotten hot and dry - and school is just 12 days away! Even the evenings are warm, when normally I'd be watching the weather closely this time of August expecting our first frost any day now. I'll take the warm evenings and smile - all the longer for my basil to grow. It is going to be a small crop this year because I didn't get it in until half way through summer. Bad me. But this heat spell is helping.

It really is the first heat spell we've had. The front field is still green - even after being hayed over a month ago. The National Forests have not been above a "Moderate" fire danger, which is something I haven't seen since moving her. And my columbine are still putting out some blooms. I almost never have columbine with holly hocks. But I've got holly hocks now too - here is one of them:

In the warmth of the evening, J and his friend slept outside last night. So fun for them!

They were prepared:

Yep, an abundance of knives is just what you need to survive out in the wilds of our back yard.

And a fire built in an old washing machine tub.;"

Did you know that this is a way the National Forest Service is recycling. They use the tubs for new fire pits at campgrounds. We don't partially bury ours so we can move it around the property as needed.

J and his friend had a fire in the evening and then again in the morning - the first course of breakfast is sausage cooked over the open flame. Yummy! Then they came in and cooked eggs too!

Then I made them do the dishes, which they managed to make into some fun!

Oh to be young again, where everything has the potential to be joyful!

We're making the most of these last days of summer!

That glow!

2009-08-25T14:14:00.004-06:00

Since Montana is "the Big Sky state" you would think it would be the skies that are so impressive. And often they are. But this time of year what I find so wonderful is the beauty of the landscape at sunrise and sunset.

This photo was sunset last night on with the glow on the barley fields and grazing lands just east of our home. There is a golden pink tone to it all, and I just love it!

Complicated Relationships

2009-08-23T20:43:00.003-06:00

Sometimes relationships are complicated. And trying to capture that in a photo is my goal. My good friend asked me to take these mother/son photos. This particular mother/son relationship is complicated - VERY COMPLICATED!

The love is obvious! But because I know them, I know there is so much more.

But most important is that the love is there - despite all the other junk.

I wish all my photos could tell the stories of all the junk covered by love.That is what draws me into photography - photos that tell stories.