Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
- Copying Sharyn Tormanen's blogging idea!
- Glad to feel up to the planned events of the day - not bonging off the walls with energy, but better than most of last week!
- Excited to get a pampering hair cut this afternoon.
- Dreading Andy leaving on a business trip tomorrow morning.
- Glad Andy doesn't travel for business very often.
- Feeling like I accomplished something because I folded two loads of laundry (but still have two more to go).
- Grossed out by the number of flies that died in the upstairs guest room since I last swept that room - eeewwwwww!
- Pleased I found a book I want to read on the "new arrivals" shelf at the library yesterday!
- Starting the Dave Ramsey materials Andy brought home last night.
- Contemplating trying a no dairy diet for a month in hopes of gaining more energy.
- Thankful for our local Christian radio station that had some inspiring discussions this morning.
- Proud of J for all the improvement I see in his school performance so far this year (yeah, I know we're just two weeks into the year, but it is nice to see him back at it with a better attitude than most of last year).
- Considering that part of J's lack-luster performance in school last year might have been because he was stressed and distressed by some unfortunate events he experienced
- Thankful for the wonderful wise Christian counselor who helped J to deal with his feelings about losing his dog and thinking his dad was dying.
- Needing to leave for the haircut in time to bring Andy the lunch he left on the kitchen counter this morning.
- Hoping to get some Senior Photos processed - and starting to believe I might catch up on them if my energy levels don't plummet!
- Praying my energy levels don't plummet!
- Wishing you a wonderful day!
Friday, September 11, 2009
With fall we've had the advent of school, and the accompanying running in and out of town to take J and pick him up. It's basically two hours of the day gone. But Andy has helped me quite a bit, taking J on his way into court or the office. I can't tell you what a blessing that is.
Football also has started, and our J is loving that! He's playing center most of the offensive plays, and Andy tells me he's quite a good snapper. He's also playing some defense, but I have to be honest here, he has never yet pulled any one's flag. He's just not that fast. But, he is a good blocker, and I guess that counts for something. He loves playing. This is the last year for flag, and he's looking forward to next year in pads. Me, well, not so sure about that, but what's a mom to do? For those of you with inquiring minds that want to know, Leo The Stupid Dog is recovering well from his fight with the chain saw. His purple stitches are still there, but he's done with antibiotics and he seems his normal happy self. However, just to keep the money flowing to the vet, Spider the cat is having some problems. Nothing as dramatic as biting the chain saw, but she's showing her age a bit sooner than we hoped. Let's just say, I've gotten quite good at giving her liquid medicine over the past ten days or so.MY HEALTH ADVENTURE:
Ten days ago Andy and I took a big adventure to Billings - largest city in Montana. Oh my gosh! Made me feel like Bozeman (the big town in our county) is the tiniest little town. But I know it's not. Every little tiny inkling that maybe I could live in city again was destroyed. No way!
Anyway, we were headed to the Billings Clinic for my rheumatology appointment. Now, you have to understand that this "clinic" is in a new building that opened this year, and I am afraid - yes, very afraid - because that building makes me feel like I'm going to the Star Trek clinic. Yes, I know I'm dating myself with that reference, but Oh My Gosh! I couldn't believe it. The waiting rooms for the various doctors are more like an airport terminal than anything else. Not much sign of a personal touch anywhere to be found. One receptionist desk for the rheumatologist, physical therapist, oncologist, radiologist, and several other "ologists" all in that part of the giant building. It was crazy! No way the receptionist is going to greet you by name and ask you how your family is in that environment. My town may be tiny, but I like that it is also personal.The doctor was nice, younger than me, but nice. That "younger than me" thing is a bit weird. First time that's happened, but Andy assured me it will be more and more common. Apparently I'm not exactly "classic" of any particular disease process, so there is lots of testing and hemming and hawing going on. Hoping to know more, but not very optimistic that there will be answers when the test results get back. But, that's life, I guess! I'm beginning to think maybe I'm just insane. That would be a fun diagnosis, don't you think? That's it for updates right now.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I don't know how many blog readers I have left - probably not many since I've been so unreliable as a blogger this past spring and summer. But, for those of you hanging in there with me, it's time for a little "true confessions."
Reality is hitting.
Yeah, kind of like Leo here.
Really, I think the technical/medical term is "fatigued."
I'm also achey in the feet, ankle, fingers, hands and wrists - with nodules growing on some of my finger joints.
The hard part of the reality is that the reason for this fatigue is probably health related and not likely to go away in this lifetime. The likely big cause of the achey fatigue? An autoimmune disease. At this point not sure which one, but have some ideas on that issue. Trying not to speculate though, because . . . well, because I don't like to be wrong, and this area of medical issues is a super complicated one where I'm likely to really get everything all wrong. I'm hoping to learn more from the Rheumatologist I'm seeing next week.
I feel like a total goober for all the things I've not accomplished, done poorly, or somehow let somebody down just because I was tired.
I haven't met goals I set for myself.
I haven't done everything that I know would make my husband more comfortable in our home.
I haven't played with J as much as he and I would both like this summer.
But, I'm learning:
- Learning to manage fatigue.
- Learning to accept that I can't do everything that pops into my mind.
- Learning to prioritize.
- Learning to live a simpler life.
- Learning to take rests in the middle of the afternoon.
- Learning not to put two busy days in a row on my schedule.
- Learning to lower my expectations in some ways.
- Learning to grow despite the fatigue.
- Learning to trust God that the things he wants me to do can still be done with this condition.
And despite the fatigue, God is blessing me with so many opportunities. I've had four or five photo shoots scheduled for Senior Photos - I'm spreading them out so I don't get overwhelmed or too tired. I've been able to use some or my necessarily less active time at the computer to educate myself more on photography and photoshop elements. And many other things.
Heck, I've taken up reading again because although my body is exhausted and needs those afternoon rest times, my mind goes a million miles an hour. To prevent it from going a million miles an hour at guilt for what I'm not up and around doing, I read. Fiction is a good distraction.
My son and my husband have been wonderful about accomodating the new achey, tired me - most of the time. They didn't mind the camping trip where I just sat and read a book with my feet in the creek most of the time. J is picking up a few more chores around the house - I've even got him helping with dishes.
So, despite the reality that limits the amount I can get done every day, and requires that many things get placed on the back burner, I'm not depressed.
In fact, I'm inspired in many ways:
- Inspired about art, with so many many ideas, just needing to find the energy to get to all of them. Even got to start one last week.
- Inspired to find a good pace for my Mark Kay business that allows me to rest when I need, but still help meet the family goals.
- Inspired to allow God to work through this situation and show his strength in the weakness I'm now experiencing.
- Inspired to simplify my life so that all the things I do count for something.
- Inspired to do the things I can do and do them well.
- Inspired to celebrate the accomplishments of my son - including this:
Yeah, a bull's eye for my boy. He was so excited!
So, that is my reality. If you stayed with me this long, thank you! I hope to blog more often, but right now I just do it when I can.