That's Not My Job!

This boy really is so wonderful!

But, he's nine, and there are some little annoying habits that he and I have gotten into lately. So, I'm going to put a stop to it by no longer doing things that are not my job.

It's not my job to nag him in the morning to get everything done. What is my job is to make sure he knows what is expected, and then let him experience the consequences when he doesn't meet expectations. I'm done with "warnings" which are really just a euphemism for nagging. I'm done with "reminders," yes, just another euphemism for nagging.

It's not that he was suffering from a bad attitude in the morning. In fact just this morning I was musing about how he is so cheerful in the morning, especially compared to the complete grump I was before school at his age. It is, however the fact that he is rather happy go lucky in the morning that leads to some of our problems. He's so joyful that he kind of wanders around the house aimlessly.

The one with the bad attitude is me - after nagging all morning, I'm not really very nice anymore. I want to be nice. I want to be peaceful in the morning. I want to start the day off right.

So, under the new plan, if he hasn't brushed his teeth, fed the dog, put on his belt, tucked in his shirt, tied his shoes, put his lunch bag in his back pack, or whatever, he just can't leave for school. The "school bus driver" (either Andy or I) will just sit on the couch and read until he has accomplished all of his responsibilities. If he is late, well, there are consequences at school for that - and he will have to pay them.

We've done this for two days, after letting him know that we would not be "reminding" him of what to do. And so far he's made it to school on time both days. But this morning, it was close.

Long term goal: he needs to take more responsibility for himself.

My job is to help him learn that responsibility, not to take it away from him before he's had a chance to master it.