We thought we were ready for some football...

but it is more complicated than just loving to play the game.

J is the only kid from his school playing in this flag football league. The league tries to put kids together based on where they go to school, which in general is a very good way to deal with it, so I'm not complaining about that decision. The result is that J is tucked in with one of the public school teams, and he's the only child on his team who doesn't go to school with the others. That leaves things a little socially awkward - like being the new kid amongst a huge group of kids who are already good friends with each other.

Add in to that the fact that J arrived to practice on time, but wearing his school shoes (brown leather lace-ups) and dark socks, and his dad didn't arrive with his cleats until practice was almost over (court ran late), so our bigger than most of the other kids 8 year old looked somewhat geeky. It was a bit stressful (see the biting of the lip, and the hands in a position that indicates he was clinching and unclench them as he does when he's nervous). Breaks my heart because he got in the car after the practice and said he didn't find his team-mates to be very friendly. He didn't do anything wrong. He was good at trying to introduce himself to the other boys and be friendly. They weren't mean, they just sort of ignored him. And it hurt his feelings a little. But he also is determined to make friends with them and hopeful that as he attends more practices and games things will get better.

He loves the sport! He smiled with huge smiles when they were running plays. He's not the fastest kid on the team, but he wasn't messing up constantly, he knew the terms and the positions and he understood the plays. That gives me hope that eventually he will make a niche for himself based on his skills combine with his general friendliness.

There are so many great advantages to sending him to a small private school. Not only is the education amazing, but because it is a Christian school there is such a wonderful focus on character development. Situations like these point out to us that the character development is going in the direction we hoped. He's kind. He's respectful to both his peers and his coaches. He doesn't make fun of other children. He wants to include everyone in the activities. And he is not giving up. I'm proud of him for that and I think while some of that comes from our family values, it is really strong in him because those values get reinforced at his school.

But, there are also challenges that come from not going to a neighborhood school where the kids can play with each other after school and on the weekends. Things are always double edged swords, and we are dealing with the sharp other side of this wonderful private school sword for the first time. (This was not an issue in baseball for whatever reason.) Frankly, I'd rather face this issue than have him not get the character development and excellent education. But it still hurts to watch him be a bit of an outsider.

Just to assure you, J is not devastated. His parents are having more of a hard time than he is. He's optimistic that he'll make friends with these boys. He's excited to be playing football. He came home and wanted to practice some more. He advocates giving up a camping trip this weekend in order to not miss the game. (We were planning on missing one game all season, and because they postponed the season by three weeks, it turned out to be the first game. We will not be missing it.) He remains the happy and up-beat boy that we know and love. And Andy and I remain determined to support him in this and help him navigate his way through so that he is successful and finds joy in the sport.

And hey, the way J sees it, by the end of the season he'll have some new friends.