God Provides!

but I will ramble as I tell you about it.

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, it's been a little stressful around here as studying for the Bar Exam is suddenly not a future plan, but a current reality. One of the sources of that stress was that we could not afford the bar prep materials, at least not to pay cash for them, and the vendor does not take credit cards. I was prepared to use Andy's five year old materials and spend some of my study time updating them - I figured that research process would be part of my studying.

Andy was very uncomfortable with this idea, to say the least. Honestly, it was one of our worst disagreements in a long time - and of course it expanded to include all the financial stresses that a sole proprietor attorney faces in these difficult time when clients are either slow pay or no pay or sending bankruptcy notices. It was ugly, let me tell you!

We did a little praying - not as much as we should have done, but we prayed. We reconciled, apologized to each other, and went forward, but without a real peace about what studying for the Bar Exam would look like.

Yesterday Andy did everything he could to be supportive of my plan, hunting down every piece of study material he could find - lecture tapes, outlines, workbooks, you name it, he sought it out and gathered it for me. It really made me feel supported, especially after the disagreement. It was kind of romantic, if you know what I mean. He would never be comfortable studying that way for himself, and he was very distraught at not being able to provide his wife with a better way to prepare for the exam.

Then, last night we went to the Public Defender Office Christmas Party. Most of Andy's work is done on an outside contractor basis with them so we are sort of de facto part of their group. That is where God really went to work in a way we could comprehend (I assume he was working behind the scenes all along).

There was a new attorney in their office, who just took the bar in July. He kept his bar prep materials from this summer, although he wasn't sure why. And having met me for the first time, he is willing to loan those precious bar prep materials to me. We did offer to pay a discounted amount for them but he said no, he would loan them to me, and as long as I gave them back when I was done he would be fine with the arrangement.

The significance of this: the materials he is willing to loan me are the exact same materials I could not afford to buy completely up to date! There is nothing more up-to-date than what he has. I almost cried. Instead, I just giggled and I'm sure I glowed with some joy.

The other sort of cool thing about this story is that it was me who asked him. Usually I am not that bold, and especially not in a mix and mingle kind of crowd situation. I normally go into quiet mode and watch from some place on the edge of the crowd - probably against the wall. Get me one on one, or in a more intimate crowd, and I am much bolder, more talkative, and not generally the quiet one. But not in a bar/restaurant situation with folks mingling and playing pool and drinking. Then, I'm a wall flower, waiting to go home. But not last night. Andy introduced me to this young man, told me he was new to the P.D.'s office, and I just jumped right in and started asking about when he took the bar and went right to whether I could borrow his materials. Very out of character for me, but it just happened.

So, I'm going to give God all the credit for this one. He provided in the most unexpected of ways. Because he knows every detail of our needs! Because he cares about meeting our needs! Because he loves us!

Okay, I'm getting all tearful again, so let me quote Jesus:

For this reason I say to you,

do not be worried about your life

as to what you will eat or what you will drink

nor for your body, as to what you will put on.

Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air,

that they do not sow nor reap nor gather into barns

and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not worth much more than they?

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

And why are you worried about clothing?

Observe how the lilies of the field grow:

they do not toil nor do they spin,

yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory

clothed himself like one of these.

but if God so clothes the grass of the filed

which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace

will he not much more clothe you?

You of little faith!

Do not worry then, saying "What will we eat?"

or "What will we drink?" or "What will we wear for clothing?"

For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things;

for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,

and all these things shall be added to you.

So, do not worry about tomorrow;

for tomorrow will care for itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

On with the day!