Saturday, December 27, 2008

Parenting Trials!

Was a bit of an emotional parenting day.
Over the past three weeks J has taken an interest in Yu-Gi-Oh. I think he finally figured out that on Saturday morning the CW has cartoons, and he started watching it. I was somewhat unaware of this, but when he wanted cards and spent his allowance on them I got a bit curious.
Then last week we agreed that I would watch both Yu-Gi-Oh and Chaotic, a related show, with him this week to see what is was all about. My radar was already up about negative spiritual content, the fact that the show seemed to be nothing more than a vehicle to sell the cards, and several other issues. Watching the shows I was not impressed, to say the least. Andy and I jumped on the Internet to see what we could get as background stories on these shows, and came away with the conclusion that we would not be having these shows in our home. I am sorry if you are reading this and don't understand what our objections were, let me just say, knowing our child, our Christian beliefs, and what we want for our home, we just determined this was not going to be part of our future.
That is when the emotional melt down occurred from J. He was devastated that we put the ky-bosh on these shows.
The sobbing was loud and lengthy, followed by inappropriate mouthy comments, door slamming, and time alone by J - both imposed by us as he was sent to his room, and imposed by himself later when he determined he just wanted to be by himself for awhile outside.
It took about an hour for him to settle down, but by the time we left to go sledding (see previous post), he was perfectly fine.
I have to admit that his extreme reaction was an affirmation that we were making a correct decision, although I think he was planning his behavior having the opposite impact. He has never behaved quite like this before. I'm not blaming the show for his behavior, but the fact that it was already so in control of his thinking that he had an extreme reaction sort of established for us that our concerns about him not being able to keep the show in perspective were accurate.
I also must say that seeing him so upset breaks my heart, even though Andy and I are as convinced as ever that we made the right decision. Having a broken heart is just part of parenting I guess. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I loved him and try to explain how this was a decision made in love. But he was all prickly there for a bit, and the best thing was to let him be with himself a bit. I thank God that Andy and I were on the same page about this issue because we were able to support each other when our knees got a little weak watching J sob.
As J approaches 9 years old I expect we may have more little battles over cultural issues. I so wish we could protect him from exposure to all evil things, but I know we can't. So we have no choice but to teach him to discern, filter, and prioritize for himself.
I think there will be lots of time on our knees praying on these issues over the next five or ten years. Got any knee pads?

4 comments:

Jeremy Becker said...

Well done! Parenting is no easy task, but a God given completion process for parents, as well as child. The process works diligence in the parent and self control in the child.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Prov. 4:23

Part of our job as parents is to guard our child's heart until we discern they are ready to do so themselves.

Way to go. Keep up the good work!

DebW said...

Glad you had a good Christmas. Good that you and Andy are on the same pg with the TV show. Glad J's reaction and feelings were short lived. Don't have any knee pads but I do know a discount sporting goods store near me has them. Should I get a pr for you and a pr for Andy?
Parental controls on the remote are a Godsend! Hope you can take advantage of them like we did.
Have a Happy New Year!

Rani said...

Good Job!!!! It is agonizin to see them in so much sadness, but it's a good thing to see parents sticking to their gut!

Jenn said...

Parenting is a hard job, I know, I have a 10 year old! I think if it wasn't hard we wouldn' be doing our job. Hang in there!