Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Eleven Years

By the time this post is up for you to read it will be September 30, but it is a post about September 29. You see, September 29 is the anniversary of my mom's death. It's been eleven years. I made this layout to commemorate:

The journaling reads: Eleven years later I miss most what I never had. I miss her being a grandma to my son. I miss him being a grandson to my mom. but they missed each other by three years, and that relationship never happened. I wonder about what it would have been like. Would he have adored her as I adored my grandma? Would she have a special spot in her heart for him? Would they have so much joy being together? I think she would love his spunk and humor. I think she would laugh at the funny things he does and says. I think they would have been pals. He would always be so excited to see her. He would talk to her about God. She would teach him that Jesus loves him. They would be a team when they got together. But it didn't happen. I miss what never got to be for them. They will never know each other and I miss that.

I do miss her. Not that raw kind of painful missing that came in the first weeks and months, but the dull ache of a void that is always there in the background. It's okay now in so many ways, but it's always not okay at the same time.

If you still have your mom, enjoy it. Somehow, today, do something to remember that it is a good thing to still have your mom around.

18 comments:

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

Miss her too...

Heather said...

That layout is a beautiful tribute to your mom.

Kate said...

It's a gorgeous layout! I'm so glad, I am so lucky to still have my mom & dad. But my DH lost his dad to cancer way before we even married or our kids were thought of... i always wonder what George would have thought of his grandchildren. I'm sure he would have been thrilled.

Lisa Dorsey said...

What a gorgeous layout and such wonderful, touching journaling. Hugs.

Kelly said...

This is so truly beautiful xxx

Fuzzy said...

I could only imagine how happy she would be to have 4 grandkids now, and hopefully more to come. Love the layout, it made me cry as I started my day. Miss her too.

mommy2alex said...

Such a beautiful layout for the eyes and heart!

Anonymous said...

This is so incredibly beautiful...((((HUGS))))

liz mataraza said...

what a beautiful tribute!

i always wonder the same thing about my dad and my boys. there is no doubt that he would have loved them and they him. he passed 5 years before my first was born. i hope my niece realizes how lucky she was to have enjoyed him being her grandpa. i know she does cuz she's a smart girl.

vtpuggirl said...

Going to call my mom today, your post made me cry. And I know they would have been great friends, my mum and ds are.

Jenn said...

Great tribute....

One of the things I love most about Heavenly Father are his promises that families are forever and that one day we will all be together again.( With the bonus of perfectness) So someday your Mom and son WILL know each other and all will be righted. Sweet blessings!

Anne aka Anniescraps said...

Oh dear... what a lovely tribute... I too lost my mom 11 years ago on October 31st.... You put into words my feelings as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Remember too one day they shall meet. Beautiful layout as always.

Tara said...

Beautiful layout Susan Beth. I know that void. Sometimes it's a little more "there" than other times, but it's always lurkign around.

Nicole said...

totally understood my friend...same situation with me and my dad. he would have been an amazing grandpa...hugs.

=)

Nancywithajones said...

BIG HUGS! That page is beautiful! I miss my dad like crazy its been 13 years since he was killed. So I kinda understand. sorta, giving you big hugs and wishing you peaceful happy memories.

Anonymous said...

I miss her too. I miss her wisdom and the wonderful friendship we shared. She would have loved her grandson dearly!!!
Kathy K.

Kristii said...

Absolutely beautiful Susan Beth!!